Week 2 Injuries

Injuries of note for Week 2:

Out
Trent Green - QB Kansas City (head)
Jerry Porter - WR Oakland (head-case)

Questionable
Jamal Lewis - RB Baltimore (hip)
Steve Smith - WR Carolina (hamstring)
Brandon Stokley - WR Indianapolis (ankle)
Tim Dwight - WR NY Jets (thigh)
Ben Roethlisberger - QB Pittsburgh (appendectomy)
LenDale White - RB Tennessee (ankle)
Clinton Portis - RB Washington (shoulder)

Probable
Mike Bell - RB Denver (finger)
Javon Walker - WR Denver (finger)
Tom Brady - QB New England (shoulder)
Jeremy Shockey - TE NY Giants (ankle)
Aaron Brooks - QB Oakland (knee)
Hines Ward - WR Pittsburgh (hamstring)
Vernon Davis - TE San Francisco (hip)
Darrell Jackson - WR Seattle (knee)


Notes:

• Can we all agree that the Broncos are the sissiest team in the league? Two guys land on the injury report because of finger injuries? How long until Jake Plummer is there with bruised feelings?
• LenDale White's ankle injury was allegedly caused by the effects of obesity brought on by repeated trips to Krispy Kreme, KFC, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Cold Stone, Baskin Robbins, Taco Bell, Taco Tree, The Pink Taco, and the food court at Costco. Then for dinner....
• Jeremy Shockey's ankle injury was a result of Giants coach Tom Coughlin bashing him with a hammer after he failed to run out of bounds near midfield with less than a minute left on Sunday night and the Giants out of timeouts.
• Tom Brady's shoulder injury apparently stems from a combination of repeatedly patting himself on the back and having to continually give big hugs to every writer who covers the NFL, as well as writers from the magazines 17, Teen Beat, and CosmoGirl
• In the Shocker of the Week, Aaron Brooks ended up on the list. Even if he's not hurt, he should be there on principle alone. A QB hasn't been hit that much since Steve Bunch was QBing the CKM Lions behind a line that featured Mike Farmer and 4 guys who averaged 5'9" and 165 lbs.
• Finally, Tim Dwight's thigh must be the size of a VW Bug and the color of the Iowa sky just before the funnels start dropping to the ground. The toughest Hawkeye in history isn't going to sit down for anything less than an injury that would threaten someone else's life (wait a minute, did I just confuse Tim Dwight with Chuck Norris?).