TUESDAY MORNING REVIEW #2
Cheers were heard in West Sac, Elk Grove, and Ames last night as the Steelers and Jags played an ugly game where neither Willie Parker, nor the Pittsburgh defense did anything to rack up big points in the PPFFL. In Laguna West, The Dominator (heretofore to be occasionally referred to as "The Evil Empire"), was rumored to be searching for the Commissioner's email address at halftime in an attempt to cut Willie Parker mid game. And, in reaction to a lackluster Week 2, the Pride of Bikini Bottom has already requested a comprehensive list off all players currently available as free agents. Gentlemen, the game is officially on.
Official standings after Week 2 (week 2 points):
The Dominator 225.32 (112.35)
Cyhawks 214.87 (109.42)
Plan Z 197.15 (111.60)
The Dragons 189.51 (108.45)
Spongebobs 185.81 (86.55)
For the purpose of waiver transactions, the Spongebobs have the first crack, followed by The Dragons, Plan Z, Cyhawks, and The Evil Empire. Of course, injury transactions take first priority and are conducted in the same worst to first order. Players on PPFFL rosters who have already hit the injury report are: Terrell Owens (broken finger) - out 2-4 weeks; Brandon Stokley (ankle) - questionable; Jeremy Shockey (ankle) - questionable; Clinton Portis (shoulder) - out for week 3.
If you have any injury related moves or waiver wire claims to make, please email them in so I can alert the rest of the league.
Now, on with the recap...
The #1 pick in the draft sure played like it, racking up an astronomical 49.10 points. Without the contributions of big brother Manning, the Dominator may have seen himself fall from his perch. In fact, in what was the week of the QB, only the benching of Carson Palmer by the Cyhawks prevented a change at the top. Palmer (34.09) racked up over 23 more points than starter Matt Hasselbeck (10.82) and would have put the only non-California team at the top of the heap. In honor of this, the Cyhawks nab Week 2's "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy Award".
The Dominator didn't have anyone stand out in Week 2 other than Manning, yet still posted the top weekly score. Former Grant Pacer (and, fortunately, a guy who abandoned Onterrio Smith as a friend a long time ago) Donte Stallworth chipped in with 15.05 points. Adam Vinatieri was a solid package deal with Manning (14.00), but may have worn himself out by kicking too much...ESPN reported last night that he has a strained groin and will be evaluated as the week progresses. The guy has the stones to nail pressure kicks in blizzards and game winners in the Super Bowl, but apparently doesn't have the stamina to kick more than 4 extra points in any given game.
The Cyhawks rode their running backs this week, as LaDanian Tomlinson (24.60) and Rudi Johnson (24.40) were their studs of the week. This helped ease the sting of Hasselbeck's stinker and the broken finger of T.O. (3.95) that led to him dropping passes the way he did during his first two years in San Francisco. Unlike Vinatieri, Nate Kaeding (17.00) was able to will himself out on the field to keep kicking extra points and occasional field goals in the Chargers rout of Tennessee. That's the difference between Tony Dungy and Marty Schottenheimer right there. Dungy just looks on while his kicker peters out in an early season game, while Marty kept kicking his guy in the ass and got the results that have all of Iowa bursting with pride. That Nate Kaeding is a warrior, and all of America is going to find out soon what the Hawkeye state has known for years.
Plan Z benefitted from playing whatever defense was going against the Raiders to jump one place in the standings. The Ravens (27.00) dominated the Silver and Black, leading the rest of the PPFFL to see if there is a way to acquire the defense of BYE for Week 3. The rest of Plan Z's lineup was consistent, with 5 guys scoring between 12.40 and 19.15. If only they had played Ron Mexico (28.69), though, they would be about 10 points closer to 1st place. They went with Marc Bulger (19.15) instead, assuming everyone puts up big points against the Niner defense. They also got caught chasing history, as they started Tiki Barber (12.40) and saw him fall short of his strong opening week.
The Dragons didn't screw up like Plan Z, they actually played the QB they acquired during the week and reaped the benefits. Duh-na-vun McNabb (41.55) had a week that was second to only one, as he led the Eagles to a crushing OT defeat at the hands of the other Manning and the Giants. This acquisition kept the Dragons from really having a bad week, as they saw half of their lineup score in single digits. The Bears defense (16.00), however, kept rolling for them, shutting down the vaunted Lions offense a week after shutting out the Packers (which cost a Chicagoland furniture dealer over $300,000 in free stuff). Let's see how the Bears D does in future weeks when they face offenses superior to those of the NFC North (like, for instance, the Wing-T of Nevada Union HS). One guy the rest of the owners in the PPFFL wish they had, Reggie Bush (13.45), had another good week. Everyone wishes they could be the one to celebrate when the inevitable happens and they see on the ticker, "Bush 89 yd TD run; 75 yd TD rec."
Falling the farthest this week were The Spongebobs. Injuries that limited Caddy Williams and Vernon Davis to 4 carries and 0 receptions, respectively, marred another pretty consistent week for Mr. Krabbs' most hardworking employee. Other than the goose-egg and near goose-egg, the rest of the skill players landed between 14.35 and 20.70, led by solid performances from Donald Driver (19.45) and the guy who's currently hated in Philly more than Santa Claus, Plaxico Burress (20.70). In the Week of the QB, Tom Brady (14.35) can only be described as a disappointment. Not to worry though, because he will no doubt use these disrespectful comments as motivation for he and his teammates to bounce back and play at the championship level we are all accustomed. Let's face it, the Patriots never get the respect they are due, and I don't blame those guys for getting upset when something like this shows up on an obscure website that is only meant to be seen by about 5 people. That's the type of disrespect that shouldn't and won't be tolerated by an NFL superstar and the teammates that he leads. Or, maybe Brady will question the logic of his "genius" coach and GM who decided to have a pissing contest with the best receiver on the team, then trade him to Seattle for a draft pick. Maybe that pick will turn into the receiver the Pats are craving....next season.
More random notes:
Cheers were heard in West Sac, Elk Grove, and Ames last night as the Steelers and Jags played an ugly game where neither Willie Parker, nor the Pittsburgh defense did anything to rack up big points in the PPFFL. In Laguna West, The Dominator (heretofore to be occasionally referred to as "The Evil Empire"), was rumored to be searching for the Commissioner's email address at halftime in an attempt to cut Willie Parker mid game. And, in reaction to a lackluster Week 2, the Pride of Bikini Bottom has already requested a comprehensive list off all players currently available as free agents. Gentlemen, the game is officially on.
Official standings after Week 2 (week 2 points):
The Dominator 225.32 (112.35)
Cyhawks 214.87 (109.42)
Plan Z 197.15 (111.60)
The Dragons 189.51 (108.45)
Spongebobs 185.81 (86.55)
For the purpose of waiver transactions, the Spongebobs have the first crack, followed by The Dragons, Plan Z, Cyhawks, and The Evil Empire. Of course, injury transactions take first priority and are conducted in the same worst to first order. Players on PPFFL rosters who have already hit the injury report are: Terrell Owens (broken finger) - out 2-4 weeks; Brandon Stokley (ankle) - questionable; Jeremy Shockey (ankle) - questionable; Clinton Portis (shoulder) - out for week 3.
If you have any injury related moves or waiver wire claims to make, please email them in so I can alert the rest of the league.
Now, on with the recap...
The #1 pick in the draft sure played like it, racking up an astronomical 49.10 points. Without the contributions of big brother Manning, the Dominator may have seen himself fall from his perch. In fact, in what was the week of the QB, only the benching of Carson Palmer by the Cyhawks prevented a change at the top. Palmer (34.09) racked up over 23 more points than starter Matt Hasselbeck (10.82) and would have put the only non-California team at the top of the heap. In honor of this, the Cyhawks nab Week 2's "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy Award".
The Dominator didn't have anyone stand out in Week 2 other than Manning, yet still posted the top weekly score. Former Grant Pacer (and, fortunately, a guy who abandoned Onterrio Smith as a friend a long time ago) Donte Stallworth chipped in with 15.05 points. Adam Vinatieri was a solid package deal with Manning (14.00), but may have worn himself out by kicking too much...ESPN reported last night that he has a strained groin and will be evaluated as the week progresses. The guy has the stones to nail pressure kicks in blizzards and game winners in the Super Bowl, but apparently doesn't have the stamina to kick more than 4 extra points in any given game.
The Cyhawks rode their running backs this week, as LaDanian Tomlinson (24.60) and Rudi Johnson (24.40) were their studs of the week. This helped ease the sting of Hasselbeck's stinker and the broken finger of T.O. (3.95) that led to him dropping passes the way he did during his first two years in San Francisco. Unlike Vinatieri, Nate Kaeding (17.00) was able to will himself out on the field to keep kicking extra points and occasional field goals in the Chargers rout of Tennessee. That's the difference between Tony Dungy and Marty Schottenheimer right there. Dungy just looks on while his kicker peters out in an early season game, while Marty kept kicking his guy in the ass and got the results that have all of Iowa bursting with pride. That Nate Kaeding is a warrior, and all of America is going to find out soon what the Hawkeye state has known for years.
Plan Z benefitted from playing whatever defense was going against the Raiders to jump one place in the standings. The Ravens (27.00) dominated the Silver and Black, leading the rest of the PPFFL to see if there is a way to acquire the defense of BYE for Week 3. The rest of Plan Z's lineup was consistent, with 5 guys scoring between 12.40 and 19.15. If only they had played Ron Mexico (28.69), though, they would be about 10 points closer to 1st place. They went with Marc Bulger (19.15) instead, assuming everyone puts up big points against the Niner defense. They also got caught chasing history, as they started Tiki Barber (12.40) and saw him fall short of his strong opening week.
The Dragons didn't screw up like Plan Z, they actually played the QB they acquired during the week and reaped the benefits. Duh-na-vun McNabb (41.55) had a week that was second to only one, as he led the Eagles to a crushing OT defeat at the hands of the other Manning and the Giants. This acquisition kept the Dragons from really having a bad week, as they saw half of their lineup score in single digits. The Bears defense (16.00), however, kept rolling for them, shutting down the vaunted Lions offense a week after shutting out the Packers (which cost a Chicagoland furniture dealer over $300,000 in free stuff). Let's see how the Bears D does in future weeks when they face offenses superior to those of the NFC North (like, for instance, the Wing-T of Nevada Union HS). One guy the rest of the owners in the PPFFL wish they had, Reggie Bush (13.45), had another good week. Everyone wishes they could be the one to celebrate when the inevitable happens and they see on the ticker, "Bush 89 yd TD run; 75 yd TD rec."
Falling the farthest this week were The Spongebobs. Injuries that limited Caddy Williams and Vernon Davis to 4 carries and 0 receptions, respectively, marred another pretty consistent week for Mr. Krabbs' most hardworking employee. Other than the goose-egg and near goose-egg, the rest of the skill players landed between 14.35 and 20.70, led by solid performances from Donald Driver (19.45) and the guy who's currently hated in Philly more than Santa Claus, Plaxico Burress (20.70). In the Week of the QB, Tom Brady (14.35) can only be described as a disappointment. Not to worry though, because he will no doubt use these disrespectful comments as motivation for he and his teammates to bounce back and play at the championship level we are all accustomed. Let's face it, the Patriots never get the respect they are due, and I don't blame those guys for getting upset when something like this shows up on an obscure website that is only meant to be seen by about 5 people. That's the type of disrespect that shouldn't and won't be tolerated by an NFL superstar and the teammates that he leads. Or, maybe Brady will question the logic of his "genius" coach and GM who decided to have a pissing contest with the best receiver on the team, then trade him to Seattle for a draft pick. Maybe that pick will turn into the receiver the Pats are craving....next season.
More random notes:
- NBC has made Bob Costas sit in the same sized chair as everyone else. Now he is back to his normal level of being at least 18 inches below everyone else.
- In a related note, and something everyone saw coming, Rick Barry has sued Sterling Sharpe over the use of the words "I", "me", and "When I played", claiming he trademarked them for his own personal use on network TV.
- The top 10 players currently not on PPFFL teams are all QBs, led by Eli Manning (NYG), Chad Pennington (NYJ), and Rex Grossman (Chi), currently the most famous 2-legged Rex in the world. The top non-QBs are Amani Toomer (WR - NYG) and Frank Gore (RB - SF).
- Week 3 is the first one with byes, with Dallas, Kansas City, Oakland, and San Diego taking the week off. Looks like the Cyhawks might have to change their lineup a little this week.
More news and updates will follow.....
The Commish
posted by Patrick Zalasky at 7:58 AM
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