Tuesday Review v3.8
In what was a much better week in the NFL than the previous one, the Cyclones built up their lead a little more and, in doing so, became the first team to crack the 900 point barrier. The Dragons are doing their best to keep contact with the top, while the Gnomies and Team STY both floundered this week and need to turn things around a little if they want to be relevant in the second half of the season.
Meanwhile, at the bottom, The Dominator took 5th place away from The Maestro. If only Dallas Clark would have knocked down that 4th quarter pass over the middle instead of tipping it right into the arms of the Titan defender, our defending champ would be in 5th place at the 8/17th point of the season....
Official Standings (Week 8):
Cyclones 921.07 (138.53)
The Dragons 866.15 (122.77)
Gnomies 852.65 (100.90)
Team STY 795.08 (65.88)
The Dominator 781.96 (111.77)
The Maestro 779.33 (91.96)
The Outlaws 684.61 (68.81)
Not to beat a dead horse, but The Dragons take home the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy" Award for the second week in a row. Expecting Bran Westbrook (31.45) to sit out the game or have a limited impact, they tabbed Correll Buckhalter (4.15). Westbrook ended up playing, and playing well, while Buckhalter was relegated to his usual backup duties. It was a classic case of "right team, wrong player" and kept this fake team from being closer to the top spot in the standings. Had this team not won this award the last two weeks, their deficit in the standings would only be 11 points. And, if the rest of us drafted a little better we wouldn't be getting whipped by a group of 3rd and 4th graders.
The Cyclones held onto the top spot mainly due to the play of PPFFL Half Season MVP Drew Brees (50.98). Brees proved that he can not only succeed while playing home games in arguably the stinkiest city in America, but he can also light it up while playing on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. LaDainian Tomlinson (22.50) also had some fun in London, as the Saints and Chargers did their best to provide our European cousins with a football score as far removed as possible from the football scores the English are used to. Larry Fitzgerald (15.75), Frank Gore (14.95), and the Baltimore defense (12.00) also cracked double figures in an effort that is becoming rather normal for this squad. Week 9 will pose a challenge, though, as Brees and Tomlinson have the week off. If the rest of the league is going to catch up (well, realistically that means The Dragons and the Gnomies, everyone else is on the verge of being toast) it will likely happen this week.
Back in 2nd place are The Dragons. Solid play from Kurt Warner (48.62), Andre Johnson (21.15), and Marshawn Lynch (15.75) compensated for the Westbrook/Buckhalter blunder, and the fact that starting TE Vernon Davis (5.45) was banished to the locker room by his head coach before the end of the 3rd quarter. On the bright side, Vernon accomplished more before Mike Singletary sent him to his room than he usually does in a full 60 minutes. Terrell Owens (6.65) failed to reach 100 yards receiving for the 100th straight week (I think it's only actually 11 weeks) and I'm sorry that I missed his postgame interaction with the press. Was T.O. dressed like he made his clothes out of various international flags, or did he dress down like he was an extra in "Staying Alive"? With all of the turmoil surrounding the Cowboys, and this is tough to believe, it might be hard for T.O. to make enough of a ruckus to be heard. Between Jerry Jones and the speculation about the injury to Tony Romo, poor T.O. is getting left behind a little. It's highly likely that he's just waiting for the right time to let loose and give everyone a piece of his mind. Methinks that will come if he has another 2 or 3 catch outing in their next game.
Sliding back a place this week were the Gnomies. Their week would have been great if they had been spending the whole season lumped with the teams behind them. Instead, since they've been running with the big boys, it was a week of disappointment. Brett Favre (33.75) led the way based more on quantity than quality. Not only did the hometown Jets fans boo him for the first time this season, the consensus around the league was that he was outplayed by Chiefs QB Tyler Thigpen. Let's repeat that: One of the NFL's iconic QBs was outplayed by Coastal Carolina's finest, Tyler Thigpen. If that's not a swift kick to the titanic guts of Chris Berman and Peter King, I don't know what is. Heath Miller (5.60) was his steady and unspectacular self. If you want a TE who is going to get you somewhere between 3 and 7 points in a given week, Heath Miller is your man.
Team STY remains in the geographic center of the standings, but they've given hope to the teams behind them that mediocrity is attainable. Eli Manning (22.43) was himself in a big win over Pittsburgh that came mostly on the backs of New York's running game and defense. Because of his legendary last name and the fact that his team is having success in America's largest media market, it is very possible that Eli could find himself inducted into the Hall of Fame someday. His acceptance speech will last more than 4 hours if he properly thanks everyone responsible for his induction....or only 27 minutes less than Michael Irvin's speed induced induction speech in 2007. Back to the fake team in question, it was really hurt by the late scratch of Steven Jackson (DNP) not to mention the stinkers put up by Reggie Wayne (4.45) and Braylon Edwards (5.20). Had it not been for last week, Edwards would be battling Vernon Davis for the priveledge of holding up the Antwaan Randle-El trophy at the end of the season.
Zooming into 5th place is The Dominator, whose loyalty to the Redskins has sometimes been criticized. Not this week, though, as Santana Moss (35.00) was increidble, having an impact on both offense and special teams. Marc Bulger (23.02) was solid while standing in for his fake football mentor Jay Cutler. Tony Gonzalez (15.95), Jamal Lewis (11.40), and Clinton Portis (10.60) also managed to crack double figures in this team's quest to achieve mediocrity. Spirits are high, and with good reason. On Sunday night, Clinton Portis was stressing to the rest of the fake team how they need to be happy with what they've done, for last season through Week 8, this team trailed by 358 points. This season, the deficit is only 139. Progress, indeed. Clinton then put on his sombrero, Morton Salt raincoat, and oversized reading glasses (with no lenses, by the way), gathered up his imaginary friends, and steered his chuck wagon back to his 23,000 square foot mansion in suburban Northern Virginia.
Baby steps. That's what The Maestro is stressing to his team. A week after his lineup scored a grand total of one touchdown, a scoring free for all was the last thing that could be expected. This week, two players actually accounted for TDs, as Peyton Manning (37.01) did it with his arm and feet, while Steve Smith (25.55) officially is back to being his unstable, yet bad (in a good way) self. Wes Welker (13.75) continues to be Matt Cassel's favorite target, except, of course, when the team gets near the end zone. Jason Witten (1.40) meanwhile, was hurt, although playing with Brad Johnson is like being injured before you ever take the field. Ronnie Brown (3.40) appears to be feeling the effects of the NFL advanced scouting system. It was only a matter of time before defenses stopped freaking out whenever they saw the ball snapped directly to a running back. That's why the NFL is the best. It only takes about 6 weeks for these guys to adjust to something they haven't seen since high school.
The Outlaws had another rough week, as only Dunnavunn McNabb (21.81) and the Giants defense (16.00) cracked double figures. In prior seasons, this is always around the time when this team kicks it into gear and gets itself out of the basement. The task this year might be a little too daunting, though. If a rise in the standings is going to happen, more production is needed out of the likes of Michael Turner (2.90), Domenic Hixon (3.25) and Brandon Jacobs (3.65). At least Roy Williams (8.50) is now on the roster. He once commented that he could personally will his offense to 40 points a game. That was when he was with the Lions, by the way. It's easy to see that Roy wasn't far off with that statement. Almost as far as Pluto would have to travel before the rays from the sun would thaw it out.
Notes:
In what was a much better week in the NFL than the previous one, the Cyclones built up their lead a little more and, in doing so, became the first team to crack the 900 point barrier. The Dragons are doing their best to keep contact with the top, while the Gnomies and Team STY both floundered this week and need to turn things around a little if they want to be relevant in the second half of the season.
Meanwhile, at the bottom, The Dominator took 5th place away from The Maestro. If only Dallas Clark would have knocked down that 4th quarter pass over the middle instead of tipping it right into the arms of the Titan defender, our defending champ would be in 5th place at the 8/17th point of the season....
Official Standings (Week 8):
Cyclones 921.07 (138.53)
The Dragons 866.15 (122.77)
Gnomies 852.65 (100.90)
Team STY 795.08 (65.88)
The Dominator 781.96 (111.77)
The Maestro 779.33 (91.96)
The Outlaws 684.61 (68.81)
Not to beat a dead horse, but The Dragons take home the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy" Award for the second week in a row. Expecting Bran Westbrook (31.45) to sit out the game or have a limited impact, they tabbed Correll Buckhalter (4.15). Westbrook ended up playing, and playing well, while Buckhalter was relegated to his usual backup duties. It was a classic case of "right team, wrong player" and kept this fake team from being closer to the top spot in the standings. Had this team not won this award the last two weeks, their deficit in the standings would only be 11 points. And, if the rest of us drafted a little better we wouldn't be getting whipped by a group of 3rd and 4th graders.
The Cyclones held onto the top spot mainly due to the play of PPFFL Half Season MVP Drew Brees (50.98). Brees proved that he can not only succeed while playing home games in arguably the stinkiest city in America, but he can also light it up while playing on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. LaDainian Tomlinson (22.50) also had some fun in London, as the Saints and Chargers did their best to provide our European cousins with a football score as far removed as possible from the football scores the English are used to. Larry Fitzgerald (15.75), Frank Gore (14.95), and the Baltimore defense (12.00) also cracked double figures in an effort that is becoming rather normal for this squad. Week 9 will pose a challenge, though, as Brees and Tomlinson have the week off. If the rest of the league is going to catch up (well, realistically that means The Dragons and the Gnomies, everyone else is on the verge of being toast) it will likely happen this week.
Back in 2nd place are The Dragons. Solid play from Kurt Warner (48.62), Andre Johnson (21.15), and Marshawn Lynch (15.75) compensated for the Westbrook/Buckhalter blunder, and the fact that starting TE Vernon Davis (5.45) was banished to the locker room by his head coach before the end of the 3rd quarter. On the bright side, Vernon accomplished more before Mike Singletary sent him to his room than he usually does in a full 60 minutes. Terrell Owens (6.65) failed to reach 100 yards receiving for the 100th straight week (I think it's only actually 11 weeks) and I'm sorry that I missed his postgame interaction with the press. Was T.O. dressed like he made his clothes out of various international flags, or did he dress down like he was an extra in "Staying Alive"? With all of the turmoil surrounding the Cowboys, and this is tough to believe, it might be hard for T.O. to make enough of a ruckus to be heard. Between Jerry Jones and the speculation about the injury to Tony Romo, poor T.O. is getting left behind a little. It's highly likely that he's just waiting for the right time to let loose and give everyone a piece of his mind. Methinks that will come if he has another 2 or 3 catch outing in their next game.
Sliding back a place this week were the Gnomies. Their week would have been great if they had been spending the whole season lumped with the teams behind them. Instead, since they've been running with the big boys, it was a week of disappointment. Brett Favre (33.75) led the way based more on quantity than quality. Not only did the hometown Jets fans boo him for the first time this season, the consensus around the league was that he was outplayed by Chiefs QB Tyler Thigpen. Let's repeat that: One of the NFL's iconic QBs was outplayed by Coastal Carolina's finest, Tyler Thigpen. If that's not a swift kick to the titanic guts of Chris Berman and Peter King, I don't know what is. Heath Miller (5.60) was his steady and unspectacular self. If you want a TE who is going to get you somewhere between 3 and 7 points in a given week, Heath Miller is your man.
Team STY remains in the geographic center of the standings, but they've given hope to the teams behind them that mediocrity is attainable. Eli Manning (22.43) was himself in a big win over Pittsburgh that came mostly on the backs of New York's running game and defense. Because of his legendary last name and the fact that his team is having success in America's largest media market, it is very possible that Eli could find himself inducted into the Hall of Fame someday. His acceptance speech will last more than 4 hours if he properly thanks everyone responsible for his induction....or only 27 minutes less than Michael Irvin's speed induced induction speech in 2007. Back to the fake team in question, it was really hurt by the late scratch of Steven Jackson (DNP) not to mention the stinkers put up by Reggie Wayne (4.45) and Braylon Edwards (5.20). Had it not been for last week, Edwards would be battling Vernon Davis for the priveledge of holding up the Antwaan Randle-El trophy at the end of the season.
Zooming into 5th place is The Dominator, whose loyalty to the Redskins has sometimes been criticized. Not this week, though, as Santana Moss (35.00) was increidble, having an impact on both offense and special teams. Marc Bulger (23.02) was solid while standing in for his fake football mentor Jay Cutler. Tony Gonzalez (15.95), Jamal Lewis (11.40), and Clinton Portis (10.60) also managed to crack double figures in this team's quest to achieve mediocrity. Spirits are high, and with good reason. On Sunday night, Clinton Portis was stressing to the rest of the fake team how they need to be happy with what they've done, for last season through Week 8, this team trailed by 358 points. This season, the deficit is only 139. Progress, indeed. Clinton then put on his sombrero, Morton Salt raincoat, and oversized reading glasses (with no lenses, by the way), gathered up his imaginary friends, and steered his chuck wagon back to his 23,000 square foot mansion in suburban Northern Virginia.
Baby steps. That's what The Maestro is stressing to his team. A week after his lineup scored a grand total of one touchdown, a scoring free for all was the last thing that could be expected. This week, two players actually accounted for TDs, as Peyton Manning (37.01) did it with his arm and feet, while Steve Smith (25.55) officially is back to being his unstable, yet bad (in a good way) self. Wes Welker (13.75) continues to be Matt Cassel's favorite target, except, of course, when the team gets near the end zone. Jason Witten (1.40) meanwhile, was hurt, although playing with Brad Johnson is like being injured before you ever take the field. Ronnie Brown (3.40) appears to be feeling the effects of the NFL advanced scouting system. It was only a matter of time before defenses stopped freaking out whenever they saw the ball snapped directly to a running back. That's why the NFL is the best. It only takes about 6 weeks for these guys to adjust to something they haven't seen since high school.
The Outlaws had another rough week, as only Dunnavunn McNabb (21.81) and the Giants defense (16.00) cracked double figures. In prior seasons, this is always around the time when this team kicks it into gear and gets itself out of the basement. The task this year might be a little too daunting, though. If a rise in the standings is going to happen, more production is needed out of the likes of Michael Turner (2.90), Domenic Hixon (3.25) and Brandon Jacobs (3.65). At least Roy Williams (8.50) is now on the roster. He once commented that he could personally will his offense to 40 points a game. That was when he was with the Lions, by the way. It's easy to see that Roy wasn't far off with that statement. Almost as far as Pluto would have to travel before the rays from the sun would thaw it out.
Notes:
- There hasn't been any recent commentary on the Peaches and Lamb Show, so here goes....Yesterday, these two titans of the airwaves were gloating about how much more productive Oakland TE Zach Miller has been than San Francisco TE Vernon Davis. First of all, these guys weren't exactly extolling the virtues of Dave Casper and Russ Francis. Secondly, since they represent the summer voice of the Raiders and a guy who once lasted about 2 days in their training camp, what other conclusion would Peaches and Lamb come to? Of course, the Raiders fans who are starving for anything positive from their team couldn't get enough of proclaiming to the world how much better Miller is than Davis. Yes, and technically having the Bird Flu is better than having SARS.
- Tim McCarver was brilliant last night in telling America how important it was for the Rays to tie the game in the 6th inning of Game 5 of the World Series. Otherwise, it was possible the game, and World Series, would end with a 5 inning 2-1 victory by the Phillies. Is McCarver such an imbecile that he would actually believe a World Series would end with a game rained out after 5 innings? Or, was he just trying to show off to America his vast knowledge of everything baseball without interjecting a sliver of common sense? In this situation, it's definitely a case of two things being equally true.
- Memo to the Cosumnes CSD: Bud Selig let the Rays and Phillies play last night, even though B.J. Upton had to swim the last 25 feet when he stole second base in the 6th inning. Meanwhile, you shut down an entire week of soccer when Elk Grove got less than a tenth of an inch of rain. I'm writing in Allan H. Selig on the ballot next week in the spot of CCSD Commissioner.
Well, that's about enough for this week. If I haven't commented on something you were looking forward to, remember this: I actually got it done on Tuesday this week. Baby steps, my friends and brothers, baby steps...
The Commish
posted by Patrick Zalasky at 10:38 AM
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