Week 5 Notes

Some quick notes and observations as we head into Week 5:

• The projected Pillow Fight of the Week is, surprisingly, Indianapolis @ Houston. This is what happens when the Colts start off slowly and neither the Raiders, nor the Rams will be taking the field. Until Peyton Manning returns to form, the Colts will be a candidate to play in the weakest game of the week. When their opponent is the less than sturdy Texans, the formula is there for 3-plus hours of hair pulling, scratching, and feathers flying.
• Judging by the PPFFL starting lineups for Week 5, our owners/GMs believe the 49ers defense is more of a pushover than Matt Cassel is inept. Randy Moss and Wes Welker are both back in the lineups for their teams, presumably with the anticipation that they will be burning the Swiss cheese-like secondary of the Niners.
• Larry Johnson makes his return to a PPFFL lineup. Some solid performances could make him a leading candidate for this year's PPFFL Comeback Player of the Year. Remember that last season he spent most of his time commuting on The Outlaws' Waiver Express. The guy appeared to be aging in dog years until last Sunday when he had a game reminiscent of the years 2002-2006 when he was one of the most formidable backs in the game. If nothing else, he outlasted Shaun Alexander in the race to see which former Pro Bowl running back would be the last to be unceremoniously jettisoned from the league.
• The Jets were given the week off, not because it was originally scheduled that way, but because America needs another week to fully celebrate what Brett Favre did last Sunday. Brett is America and we all need Brett right now. With the financial bailout in debate and the uncertainty surrounding the campaigns for President, we all need a rock to lean on, and that rock wears a #4 Jets jersey and goes by the name Brett Favre. Plus, if the Jets played again this week Favre would be liable to erase all memories of his 6 TD performance by going 23-55 with 5 picks.

In closing, before we enjoy the pigskins flying through the air all weekend, take a moment to think about what is happening in our great country and appreciate how lucky we are, even in these supposedly tough times. Reflecting on the words of Joe Biden, when Lincoln was President, and the country seemed to be crumbling around him, he went out to that battlefield at Gettysburgh and brought the country, not to mention the world, together with a few simple words. With Joe Montana to his right and Kimbo Slice to his left; with the whole country watching on the internet; with Curt Gowdy and Simon Cowell describing the speech during a break in a college game between the top ranked Sacramento State Hornets and #2 Duke, President Lincoln said what we all needed to hear. He said that the great game of football was to America what Mother Teresa was to the sick Vikings in Scandanavia. It offered us the love and loyalty that we all needed and could bring us all together, whether we were fans of the New Orleans Forty Niners or the Pittsburgh Cardinals. Football would be our guiding light and the beacon that would show us through the darkness of the most deadly war in American history: Carrie and Bruno's dance wars.

With those simple words, a nation watching on television had all the reassurance they needed to get through one of the toughest times in our collective history. Joe Biden's sense of history is something we all need to recognize and appreciate as we see people from the Bay Area punch holes in the walls of their homes that have just been foreclosed upon, right before they rip out the toilets and head back to Richmond. Those people, who will go back to living off of government assistance in one of the most squalid places of America need to know one thing: we are all very grateful that they won't be living in our neighborhoods anymore. For that, according to Vice Presidential candidate Biden, we have Abraham Lincoln, Joe Montana, Curt Gowdy, and, of course, Brett Favre to thank.

And, with that, I wish you all a wonderful weekend, and formally apologize for a rambling attempt at satire that may or may not have amused you. I think all of this political stuff on TV is making me a little jelly headed.

The Commish