Week 14 Starting Lineups

These weeks with Thursday games are really a pain. I will try harder these next couple of weeks to get things posted earlier than Friday night. It's just that, once the big weekly summary is written, I look up again and see Bryant Gumbel's smug mug. Well, not really, because the NFL Network isn't exactly giving us the most intriguing matchups. The way things are going, the next one might be Houston @ Cleveland, which would be a huge improvement over the garbage they've been showing the last three weeks.

Without further ado, here are this week's lineups:

Cyhawks
QB: Carson palmer - Cin
RB: The MVP - SD
RB: Rudi Johnson - Cin
WR: Ocho Cinco - Cin
WR: Steve Smith - Car
TE: Antonio Gates - SD
K: Josh Scobee-Dobee-Do - Jac
D: Jacksonville

The Dominator
QB: Peyton Manning - Ind
RB: Willie Parker - Pit
RB: Steven Jackson - StL
WR: Darrell Jackson - Sea
WR: Larry Fitzgerald - Ari
TE: Alge Crumpler - Atl
K: Adam Vinatieri - Ind
D: Tampa Bay

Plan Z
QB: Tom Brady - NE
RB: Maurice Jones Drew - Jac
RB: Shaun Alexander - Sea
WR: Antonio Bryant - SF
WR: Reggie Wayne - Ind
TE: Tony Gonzalez - KC
K: Jeff Wilkins - StL
D: New England

The Spongebobs
QB: Drew Brees - NO
RB: Frank Gore - SF
RB: Brian Westbrook - Phi
WR: Roy Williams - Det
WR: Javon Walker - Den
TE: Randy McMichael - Mia
K: Nate Kaeding - SD
D: Chicago

The Dragons
QB: Football's Answer to Chuck Finley**
RB: Deuce McAllister - NO
RB: Laurence Maroney - NE
WR: Anquan Boldin - Ari
WR: T.J. Houshmanzadeh - Cin
TE: Kellen Winslow, Jr. - Cle
K: Rian Lindell - Buf
D: New York Giants

**Chuck Finley married a third rate actress/singer and, although he had a pretty nice career, even when married to said entertainer, ended up filing a police report on her while her stiletto heel was sticking out of his temple. Let's hope the same fate doesn't befall Tony Romo. Maybe Jessica will crack him across the dome with a flat heel when she's all strung out after finally realizing that her career is over and she's officially a D-list celebrity with a couple of kids and a husband who, while once the toast of Dallas, ended up spending most of his time as a backup QB for the Texans.

A couple of things:

• In the only transaction this week, Plan Z waived Bears WR Bernard Berrian and acquired Niners WR Antonio Bryant. Plan Z really wanted to use someone from the Rams secondary at WR this week, seeing as how Grossman likes to throw the ball to the defense so much, but a quick look through the league bylaws deemed this illegal. Realizing that even the 1980's version of Jerry Rice would be completely worthless with Rex at QB, Berrian was deemed expendable.
• Funny how the 2 starting WRs from the Cardinals are being played this week. Could it be that Dennis Green, knowing he's gone at the end of the season, is throwing caution to the wind and treating the rest of the season like a neighborhood pick-up game? Or, maybe our astute team owners are seeing that Matt Leinart is quite adept at throwing the ball against the prevent defenses the Cards encounter at the beginning of the second half each week. Leinart is coming very close to joining the Eli Club. No, not the place where stodgy grads of Yale go to talk about how long it takes them to count their money. This is the club where QBs put their teams in a huge hole early, then pad their stats against the prevent defense of the other team. They come just close enough to winning that their fans walk away from the game muttering, "If Eli hadn't thrown the interception on that screen pass..." or "If Eli had just been able to tackle that guy after his second pick, our defense might have been able to hold them to a field goal." Of course, those quotes could also come out of the mouth of Mr. Positive, Michael Strahan, and probably have this season.