Tuesday Review v2.1
The first week of the new season has come and gone, and the standings in the PPFFL have nearly been turned upside down from the end of last year. When last season ended, we had the prior version of the Kellogg Krushers out in front of The Dominator, with The Maestro's former team in the middle, followed by The Dragons and The Outlaw Sponges bringing up the rear. This week, a team that wasn't even in the league and is comprised of castoffs from the 3rd and 4th place teams last year sits at the top. The standings are as follows:
The Bouncers 125.26
The Outlaws 122.08
The Dragons 120.62
The Dominator 104.69
Kellogg Krushers 94.97
The Maestro 84.54
The clear winner of the first "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy" Award for the new season is The Maestro. In fact, if yours truly has another couple of weeks like the 1st, the award will permanently be renamed "The Maestro Award". This week it wasn't just one guy that generated all of the frustration, it was nearly the whole team. Tom Brady (43.14) could have been played instead of Drew Brees (20.64); Adrian Peterson (19.25) could have been started in place of Maurice Jones-Drew (7.55); Randy Moss (27.15) tripled the combined total of Larry Fitzgerald (4.00) and Darrell Jackson (5.80) on his own; and Jason Witten (20.80) would have been a much better choice than Tony Gonzalez (6.40). So, as you all can see, if not for some serious Week 1 ineptitude on the part of The Maestro, the rest of you could be staring at a deficit of 30-60 points. Not to be pessimistic on my own behalf, but don't be surprised if you see much more of the same the rest of the season.
On another note before we get to the individual franchise summaries for the week, Eli Manning was absolutely stellar in his performance Sunday night, and no doubt had some of you thinking that he would look great on your team. Then came the shoulder stinger, that turned into a shoulder bruise, which now appears to be a shoulder separation. That's probably a good thing for everyone, though,because it would have been a shame to see someone pick up Eli, then watch him kill their team every other week. On the same note, Martin "Grimace" McNeal (he bears an uncanny resemblance to Ronald McDonald's giant purple, burger guzzling sidekick) wrote in the Bee today that the Giants should immediately sign Byron Leftwich. Now, I don't profess to be an expert on the level of Sean Salisbury, Mark Schlereth, or even Alex, Jack, or Jesse, but I don't see where it makes sense to rush out and sign a guy that was beaten out so badly by David Garrard that he was released. It's not like the Jags weren't desparate for a decent QB, either, because they also brought in noted bust Tim Couch for a tryout. Grimace would have had way more credibility if he would have suggested breaking Drew Bledsoe out of mothballs, or trading a 7th round pick for Vinny Testaverde.
Now, on with the summaries....
The Bouncers (125.26)
Beginner's Luck, or deft drafting and talent evaluation? The jury is still out because, unlike every other team, these guys played all of their top scorers. In fact, had they gone with anyone they left on their bench, they would be sitting in 3rd place right now. You have to give credit where it's due, though, and pat them on the back for starting the obvious choice at QB, Peyton Manning (35.76), along with his wideout Marvin Harrison (14.15). Shaun Alexander (16.85) made a nice return to form after he stunk up the joint for most of last season, and Marshawn Lynch (12.95) was solid for an anemic Bills offense. Doesn't it seem like about 50 years ago that the Bills were going no-huddle up and down the field and putting up 30 points a game? The Bouncers really made a nice move on Monday night, with T.J. Houshmanzadeh (17.50) once again upstaging the more hyped Ocho Cinco, and the Ravens defense (13.00) contributing a solid effort. It's a long season, but let's give it up for the youngsters! They will always be able to say that, in their first season in the league, everyone was chasing them with 16 weeks to go!
The Outlaws (122.08)
Not accustomed to this lofty status, as he spent the second half of last season in 4th or 5th place, is Bob. Unlike his big weeks last season, he didn't entirely rely upon one player this week. Carson Palmer (29.88) was sharp, but not spectacular. So, too, were Larry Johnson (11.35) and Torry Holt (17.65). Only Laverneaus Coles (21.95) did better than expected among the skill players. A huge boost was provided by the defense of the Chargers (18.00). That was a pretty good bet to happen, as they were matched up against the Bears, who may not be as anemic with the ball as some teams, but usually don't do much unless their defense is causing turnovers and giving them incredible field position. Had The Outlaws received a 2006-like performance from Rudi Johnson (6.80), they would be on top of the leaderboard right now. All in all, it was a solid 1st week for a franchise that is trying to remove itself from a less than stellar 2006....leading us to...
The Dragons (120.62)
Last season's cellar dwellars started out strong in Week 1, coming a shaky offensive pass interference penalty away from placing every starter in double figures and being on top of the league at the 1/17th point. Last season's fantasy MVP, LaDainian Tomlinson (24.14) only rushed for 25 yeards, but still found the end zone, caught 7 passes, and threw for a TD against the stout Bears defense. Along with receivers Reggie Wayne (25.75) and T.O. (19.35), the MVP stood out for a team that got great across the board contributions. Good news for The Dragons is that there's a good chance Wayne will continue to put up numbers like this, as he is catching passes thrown by the game's best QB. T.O., on the other hand, has to rely on Tony Romo, so the numbers will likely be a little more sporadic, as Romo looked awesome against the shaky Giants defense (Michael Strahan came back from "retirement" to play with those clowns?), but will soon be chasing third rate actresses and pop stars while having to prepare for defenses just a little bit better. Had Todd Heap (5.45) not been called for a weak interference penalty while receiving a toss from Kyle Boller in the end zone last night, he would have joined Dunnavunn McNabb (14.13), Frank Gore (10.80), Jason Elam (11.00), the Bears defense (10.00), and the aforementioned LDT, Wayne, and T.O. in giving The Dragons double figures across the board, a rarity in this league that only happened once or twice last season (I'd be more specific, by the research department is closed for the day).
The Dominator (104.69)
In trying to adjust to life without Peyton Manning, The Dominator rolled out his Desert Storm strategy, loading his lineup with Cardinals Anquan Boldin (11.80), Edgerrin James (13.60) and Neil Rackers (5.00). Their numbers were okay, but may have been expected to be better after facing the Niners defense. Marc Bulger (22.24) was a tad subpar as the Rams struggled to score and Ocho Cinco (15.85) was again upstaged by one of his teammates. The real playmaker of Week 1 was Antonio Gates (23.35) who was the go-to guy for the Chargers. He more than made up for the stink bomb submitted by Julius Jones (4.85). The gamble to go with the Skins defense (8.00) paid off a little bit, but they won't have the luxury of playing Miami every week. Maybe a solid, but unspectacular week is what The Dominator needed to begin the season. You know, so there isn't any temptation to play the J.V. squad any time soon.
Kellogg Krushers (94.97)
Thank goodness for the Vikings defense (29.00)...or maybe we should say the Falcons offense led by Joey Harrington. The only saving graces for the Iowa franchise this week were the play of their fellow Midwesterners and the baddest man in football, Steve Smith (22.00). Throw in a pretty solid week from Javon Walker (17.95), and things look good at the top of the roster. Look at the rest, though, and you will see Brett Favre (13.52) looking like Willie Mays stumbling around Shea Stadium; Reggie Bush (6.35) looking ordinary; Dallas Clark (5.10) realizing that there are only so many people the good Manning can throw to in one game; and Steven Jackson (0.05) barely contributing more than the dead guy found in the parking lot of the Big A following Game 7 of the 2002 World Series. Our defending champs are going to have to circle the wagons and get the team focused for Week 2 and beyond. Without intentionally offending a co-owner of The Bouncers, something needs to be done about the QB position. Carrying Favre and a guy that got released does not lend itself to building a championship caliber team. Hope may be on the horizon, though. If the Giants follow the lead of Grimace McNeal, Byron Double Decker Sandwich might be over and under throwing the likes of Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer, and Jeremy Shockey by Week 3. So, maybe there is some QB hope on the horizon.
The Maestro (84.54)
The owner of this team (that's right, I'm the knucklehead that put together the Week 1 lineup), named after Bob Cobb who conducted the NYC Policeman's Auxiliary Orchestra on "Seinfeld" (and stopped dead in his tracks whenever he heard The Eagles play "Desperado"...and also had a house in Tuscany, where nothing was available for sale or rent), should have taken the lead of George Costanza and done the opposite of what his instincts were telling him. Outside of Joseph Addai (19.15), every skill player in the lineup was outperformed by someone sitting on the bench. The Buffalo defense (10.00) somehow managed to only give up 15 points (while letting Denver rack up nearly 400 yards of offense) and got a punt return for a TD, otherwise it would have been life in the 70s for the first week's worst team. I guess these are the consequences one can suffer when they draft Patriots superstars, then leave them on the bench. If that's the case, then lesson learned. Safe to say Moss and Brady will be in the lineup on the regular basis from now on. If, as a couple of people affiliated with The Bouncers think, this team is doomed by the negative karma of their owner, then the least I can do is play the Patriots stars all year long and watch them struggle. So, it's a win-win situation as far as I see it.
Notes:
The first week of the new season has come and gone, and the standings in the PPFFL have nearly been turned upside down from the end of last year. When last season ended, we had the prior version of the Kellogg Krushers out in front of The Dominator, with The Maestro's former team in the middle, followed by The Dragons and The Outlaw Sponges bringing up the rear. This week, a team that wasn't even in the league and is comprised of castoffs from the 3rd and 4th place teams last year sits at the top. The standings are as follows:
The Bouncers 125.26
The Outlaws 122.08
The Dragons 120.62
The Dominator 104.69
Kellogg Krushers 94.97
The Maestro 84.54
The clear winner of the first "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy" Award for the new season is The Maestro. In fact, if yours truly has another couple of weeks like the 1st, the award will permanently be renamed "The Maestro Award". This week it wasn't just one guy that generated all of the frustration, it was nearly the whole team. Tom Brady (43.14) could have been played instead of Drew Brees (20.64); Adrian Peterson (19.25) could have been started in place of Maurice Jones-Drew (7.55); Randy Moss (27.15) tripled the combined total of Larry Fitzgerald (4.00) and Darrell Jackson (5.80) on his own; and Jason Witten (20.80) would have been a much better choice than Tony Gonzalez (6.40). So, as you all can see, if not for some serious Week 1 ineptitude on the part of The Maestro, the rest of you could be staring at a deficit of 30-60 points. Not to be pessimistic on my own behalf, but don't be surprised if you see much more of the same the rest of the season.
On another note before we get to the individual franchise summaries for the week, Eli Manning was absolutely stellar in his performance Sunday night, and no doubt had some of you thinking that he would look great on your team. Then came the shoulder stinger, that turned into a shoulder bruise, which now appears to be a shoulder separation. That's probably a good thing for everyone, though,because it would have been a shame to see someone pick up Eli, then watch him kill their team every other week. On the same note, Martin "Grimace" McNeal (he bears an uncanny resemblance to Ronald McDonald's giant purple, burger guzzling sidekick) wrote in the Bee today that the Giants should immediately sign Byron Leftwich. Now, I don't profess to be an expert on the level of Sean Salisbury, Mark Schlereth, or even Alex, Jack, or Jesse, but I don't see where it makes sense to rush out and sign a guy that was beaten out so badly by David Garrard that he was released. It's not like the Jags weren't desparate for a decent QB, either, because they also brought in noted bust Tim Couch for a tryout. Grimace would have had way more credibility if he would have suggested breaking Drew Bledsoe out of mothballs, or trading a 7th round pick for Vinny Testaverde.
Now, on with the summaries....
The Bouncers (125.26)
Beginner's Luck, or deft drafting and talent evaluation? The jury is still out because, unlike every other team, these guys played all of their top scorers. In fact, had they gone with anyone they left on their bench, they would be sitting in 3rd place right now. You have to give credit where it's due, though, and pat them on the back for starting the obvious choice at QB, Peyton Manning (35.76), along with his wideout Marvin Harrison (14.15). Shaun Alexander (16.85) made a nice return to form after he stunk up the joint for most of last season, and Marshawn Lynch (12.95) was solid for an anemic Bills offense. Doesn't it seem like about 50 years ago that the Bills were going no-huddle up and down the field and putting up 30 points a game? The Bouncers really made a nice move on Monday night, with T.J. Houshmanzadeh (17.50) once again upstaging the more hyped Ocho Cinco, and the Ravens defense (13.00) contributing a solid effort. It's a long season, but let's give it up for the youngsters! They will always be able to say that, in their first season in the league, everyone was chasing them with 16 weeks to go!
The Outlaws (122.08)
Not accustomed to this lofty status, as he spent the second half of last season in 4th or 5th place, is Bob. Unlike his big weeks last season, he didn't entirely rely upon one player this week. Carson Palmer (29.88) was sharp, but not spectacular. So, too, were Larry Johnson (11.35) and Torry Holt (17.65). Only Laverneaus Coles (21.95) did better than expected among the skill players. A huge boost was provided by the defense of the Chargers (18.00). That was a pretty good bet to happen, as they were matched up against the Bears, who may not be as anemic with the ball as some teams, but usually don't do much unless their defense is causing turnovers and giving them incredible field position. Had The Outlaws received a 2006-like performance from Rudi Johnson (6.80), they would be on top of the leaderboard right now. All in all, it was a solid 1st week for a franchise that is trying to remove itself from a less than stellar 2006....leading us to...
The Dragons (120.62)
Last season's cellar dwellars started out strong in Week 1, coming a shaky offensive pass interference penalty away from placing every starter in double figures and being on top of the league at the 1/17th point. Last season's fantasy MVP, LaDainian Tomlinson (24.14) only rushed for 25 yeards, but still found the end zone, caught 7 passes, and threw for a TD against the stout Bears defense. Along with receivers Reggie Wayne (25.75) and T.O. (19.35), the MVP stood out for a team that got great across the board contributions. Good news for The Dragons is that there's a good chance Wayne will continue to put up numbers like this, as he is catching passes thrown by the game's best QB. T.O., on the other hand, has to rely on Tony Romo, so the numbers will likely be a little more sporadic, as Romo looked awesome against the shaky Giants defense (Michael Strahan came back from "retirement" to play with those clowns?), but will soon be chasing third rate actresses and pop stars while having to prepare for defenses just a little bit better. Had Todd Heap (5.45) not been called for a weak interference penalty while receiving a toss from Kyle Boller in the end zone last night, he would have joined Dunnavunn McNabb (14.13), Frank Gore (10.80), Jason Elam (11.00), the Bears defense (10.00), and the aforementioned LDT, Wayne, and T.O. in giving The Dragons double figures across the board, a rarity in this league that only happened once or twice last season (I'd be more specific, by the research department is closed for the day).
The Dominator (104.69)
In trying to adjust to life without Peyton Manning, The Dominator rolled out his Desert Storm strategy, loading his lineup with Cardinals Anquan Boldin (11.80), Edgerrin James (13.60) and Neil Rackers (5.00). Their numbers were okay, but may have been expected to be better after facing the Niners defense. Marc Bulger (22.24) was a tad subpar as the Rams struggled to score and Ocho Cinco (15.85) was again upstaged by one of his teammates. The real playmaker of Week 1 was Antonio Gates (23.35) who was the go-to guy for the Chargers. He more than made up for the stink bomb submitted by Julius Jones (4.85). The gamble to go with the Skins defense (8.00) paid off a little bit, but they won't have the luxury of playing Miami every week. Maybe a solid, but unspectacular week is what The Dominator needed to begin the season. You know, so there isn't any temptation to play the J.V. squad any time soon.
Kellogg Krushers (94.97)
Thank goodness for the Vikings defense (29.00)...or maybe we should say the Falcons offense led by Joey Harrington. The only saving graces for the Iowa franchise this week were the play of their fellow Midwesterners and the baddest man in football, Steve Smith (22.00). Throw in a pretty solid week from Javon Walker (17.95), and things look good at the top of the roster. Look at the rest, though, and you will see Brett Favre (13.52) looking like Willie Mays stumbling around Shea Stadium; Reggie Bush (6.35) looking ordinary; Dallas Clark (5.10) realizing that there are only so many people the good Manning can throw to in one game; and Steven Jackson (0.05) barely contributing more than the dead guy found in the parking lot of the Big A following Game 7 of the 2002 World Series. Our defending champs are going to have to circle the wagons and get the team focused for Week 2 and beyond. Without intentionally offending a co-owner of The Bouncers, something needs to be done about the QB position. Carrying Favre and a guy that got released does not lend itself to building a championship caliber team. Hope may be on the horizon, though. If the Giants follow the lead of Grimace McNeal, Byron Double Decker Sandwich might be over and under throwing the likes of Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer, and Jeremy Shockey by Week 3. So, maybe there is some QB hope on the horizon.
The Maestro (84.54)
The owner of this team (that's right, I'm the knucklehead that put together the Week 1 lineup), named after Bob Cobb who conducted the NYC Policeman's Auxiliary Orchestra on "Seinfeld" (and stopped dead in his tracks whenever he heard The Eagles play "Desperado"...and also had a house in Tuscany, where nothing was available for sale or rent), should have taken the lead of George Costanza and done the opposite of what his instincts were telling him. Outside of Joseph Addai (19.15), every skill player in the lineup was outperformed by someone sitting on the bench. The Buffalo defense (10.00) somehow managed to only give up 15 points (while letting Denver rack up nearly 400 yards of offense) and got a punt return for a TD, otherwise it would have been life in the 70s for the first week's worst team. I guess these are the consequences one can suffer when they draft Patriots superstars, then leave them on the bench. If that's the case, then lesson learned. Safe to say Moss and Brady will be in the lineup on the regular basis from now on. If, as a couple of people affiliated with The Bouncers think, this team is doomed by the negative karma of their owner, then the least I can do is play the Patriots stars all year long and watch them struggle. So, it's a win-win situation as far as I see it.
Notes:
- Thanks go out to ESPN for giving us the 3 Mikes in the booth for the Arizona/SF game last night. Greenburg was pretty good at keeping the dialogue moving and keeping it light while both teams ran their version of the 2006 Raiders offense. Golic stood out for telling us what he thought should happen, right before it happened. He's probably better than 3/4 of the guys giving analysis every Sunday, and would be a much better alternative to the sideline ramblings of Tony Siragusa (who always seems to have his view of the field blocked - most likely by a giant bratwurst, bucket of garlic fries, and big beer). And Ditka...well, it was great to have a guy in the booth that reminds you of your dad. The way he gruffly talked about how the teams could do things differently, didn't know the names of half the guys playing, and mistook "popsicle wrappers" for yellow flags, was down to earth, homespun entertainment. Once again, we here at PPFFL Headquarters than you, Worldwide Leader.
- Lost in the general talk about Eli Manning's injury is the fact that Jared Lorenzen is the Giants' backup QB. Who is that, you say? Just the guy who also goes by the nickname "Hefty Lefty" and tips the Toledos at about 3-bills. Here's hoping that a 300 pound left handed QB can find some success in this league. At the very least, some success for him and the Giants may lead to Tiki Barber ripping on Eli and Tom Coughlin some more.
- One final QB note....Say Archie Manning really did tutor Matt Leinart, as the DirecTV commercial depicts. After last night's performance against the recently suspect 49ers' defense, would that make you wonder how Peyton escaped the hex Archie puts on the QBs he mentors? Leinart looked a lot like Eli last night, only without the strong arm. Scared, slow afoot, and willing to throw into triple coverage from his back foot seem to be what Archie preaches to his students, so I ask again....what happened to Peyton?
- As you all know, the waiver claims will be processed in reverse order of the standings, so The Maestro has first dibs, followed by the Kellogg Krushers, The Dominator, The Dragons, The Outlaws, and The Bouncers.
- Lineups for Week 2 need to be submitted by Friday morning.
Have a tremendous week, and do great things, gentlemen.
The Commish
posted by Patrick Zalasky at 8:25 AM
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