T.O.'s Favorite Team is The Dragons
Just when we thought this site was seen only by the eyes of the people directly involved with the PPFFL, we get this from the Dallas Morning News:
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said. "I think with everything that has happened, and obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she's kind of taken his focus away."
Those words come from none other than Terrell Owens and are directly in line with what has been written about Tony Romo on this site for over a year. These words are also the beginning of the meltdown that T.O. is due to have if he doesn't have good stats this weekend. So T.O., if you're checking in on us, don't let Romo disrespect you by throwing the ball to Jason Witten all day again. It's obvious he's distracted by blondes in tight pants and pink jerseys. It wouldn't be surprising if Jessica Simpson doesn't like you and tells Romo not to throw you the ball. After all, she has spent a considerable amount of time in Tennessee and Witten spent his college years playing for the Vols. You went to Chattanooga, the ugly stepchild of UT. She's just mocking you by telling Romo to ignore you. He's a blockhead so he listens to her with the hope that she'll put out if he throws enough passes to Witten.
You can do one of two things:
1) Throw Romo under the bus and threaten to walk away at the end of the year if you don't catch at least 10 passes this weekend. Use your considerable profile with the media to slander Romo as much as possible while making yourself out to be the victim. You can also get your superagent, Drew Rosenhaus, to circulate a rumor that Romo is off of his game because he contracted syphillis from Ms. Simpson.
2) Beat Romo at his own game. Since Chattanooga is the ugly stepchild to UT's golden child image, you need to find a washed up, slightly dirty version of Jessica Simpson. My suggestion is Lorrie Morgan. She's as washed up as anyone in Nashville and would make Paris Hilton blush if she ever listed how many dudes she's shacked up with. Plus, she was linked to Troy Aikman when he was with Dallas (although Aikman wouldn't remember because his mind can only hold onto what has happened to him over the last 90 days). What better way to get back at the new Cowboy QB than to grab attention for hooking up with the former main squeeze of the best QB in team history?
Don't let Romo get away with disrespecting you, Terrell! Nothing short of 10 catches and a couple of TDs will be acceptable this weekend. It's all up to Romo. If he's not getting you the ball, you know it's because he's got his head in someone's skirt. His celebrity hookups are giving him tons of publicity and affecting your stats on the field. You need to do whatever it takes to get the focus back where it belongs...on #81. If it means spending time with a 60 year old chain smoking former country music star or swallowing a few dozen sleeping pills to get the cameras back on you...well, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Just when we thought this site was seen only by the eyes of the people directly involved with the PPFFL, we get this from the Dallas Morning News:
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said. "I think with everything that has happened, and obviously the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel like she's kind of taken his focus away."
Those words come from none other than Terrell Owens and are directly in line with what has been written about Tony Romo on this site for over a year. These words are also the beginning of the meltdown that T.O. is due to have if he doesn't have good stats this weekend. So T.O., if you're checking in on us, don't let Romo disrespect you by throwing the ball to Jason Witten all day again. It's obvious he's distracted by blondes in tight pants and pink jerseys. It wouldn't be surprising if Jessica Simpson doesn't like you and tells Romo not to throw you the ball. After all, she has spent a considerable amount of time in Tennessee and Witten spent his college years playing for the Vols. You went to Chattanooga, the ugly stepchild of UT. She's just mocking you by telling Romo to ignore you. He's a blockhead so he listens to her with the hope that she'll put out if he throws enough passes to Witten.
You can do one of two things:
1) Throw Romo under the bus and threaten to walk away at the end of the year if you don't catch at least 10 passes this weekend. Use your considerable profile with the media to slander Romo as much as possible while making yourself out to be the victim. You can also get your superagent, Drew Rosenhaus, to circulate a rumor that Romo is off of his game because he contracted syphillis from Ms. Simpson.
2) Beat Romo at his own game. Since Chattanooga is the ugly stepchild to UT's golden child image, you need to find a washed up, slightly dirty version of Jessica Simpson. My suggestion is Lorrie Morgan. She's as washed up as anyone in Nashville and would make Paris Hilton blush if she ever listed how many dudes she's shacked up with. Plus, she was linked to Troy Aikman when he was with Dallas (although Aikman wouldn't remember because his mind can only hold onto what has happened to him over the last 90 days). What better way to get back at the new Cowboy QB than to grab attention for hooking up with the former main squeeze of the best QB in team history?
Don't let Romo get away with disrespecting you, Terrell! Nothing short of 10 catches and a couple of TDs will be acceptable this weekend. It's all up to Romo. If he's not getting you the ball, you know it's because he's got his head in someone's skirt. His celebrity hookups are giving him tons of publicity and affecting your stats on the field. You need to do whatever it takes to get the focus back where it belongs...on #81. If it means spending time with a 60 year old chain smoking former country music star or swallowing a few dozen sleeping pills to get the cameras back on you...well, you gotta do what you gotta do.
posted by Patrick Zalasky at 9:23 AM
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