Tuesday Review v4.1
The first week is in the books and our newest member stands at the top of the standings. Following a season in which a brand new team won the championship, we see once again that the longer you play fantasy football, the dumber you get.
On the real gridiron, it was proven again that a player's time can be short, as a few big names came down with varying degrees of injury. Dunnavunn McNabb suffered a broken rib, but vowed not to miss any time (Andy Reid still found it necessary to sign Jeff Garcia, no doubt making Kevin Kolb feel really good about himself). Troy Polamalu injured a knee ligament, but will likely only miss about 5 weeks. Not so fortunate was Brian Urlacher, who busted up his wrist and will miss the remainder of the season.
In our fake league, there were no injuries to report from Week 1, meaning we're all getting better at sitting on the couch and not falling off when stretching to reach for the remote control.
Official Standings:
The Big Ragu 126.71
Gnomies 122.68
Cyclones 120.37
Team STY 118.61
The Maestro 111.43
The Outlaws 106.71
The Dragons 95.68
The Dominator 87.39
It appears that, with a greater number of teams, there is less of a chance for a star player to be left on the bench while someone inferior plays in his stead. Looking over the results of this week, there was only one real case where someone messed up by not playing someone. That's why Team STY takes home the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy" Award for Week 1 of our 4th season. They left Reggie Wayne (27.10) on the bench while Terrell Owens (4.30) pretended to be invisible against New England. Had Wayne been in the lineup, his fake team would be in first place and the intelligence of our league mainstays would not be under so much scrutiny right now.
Providing more evidence that a bunch of Polocks can be had when playing fantasy football, The Big Ragu broke out on top after one week. The arm of Tom Brady (53.01) and the hands of Randy Moss (22.05) were most responsible. How this guy was able to draft both of those players is reason why the rest of us are who we are. Heck, it was only two seasons ago that the team who drafted both of these guys won the league by about 1,975 points. Maybe we'll all catch on next season. In addition to those two, Kevin Smith (16.60) put up some good numbers, proving again that someone has to put up stats on bad teams.
Not far behind are the Gnomies. Adrian Peterson (31.90) lived up to the hype of being the #1 pick in the draft, casually throwing tacklers to the side all day in Cleveland. Browns fans probably can't wait for the weather to turn cold so that they can start throwing snowballs at Cleveland's wimpy defensive players. Matt Ryan (31.38) was solid, although not spectacular, while Greg Jennings (22.30) would have had huge numbers had Aaron Rodgers not overthrown him a half dozen times. And, this isn't a misprint, Willis McGahee (19.75) was very good as the Ravens opened up their offense and put up over 30 points on Sunday. It doesn't look like Baltimore is playing its games on a field that is 180 yards long anymore.
The defending champion Cyclones slide comfortably into 3rd place this week, on the strength of Peyton Manning (35.82) and the Philadelphia (35.00) defense. Their place is tenuous, though, because we've seen in the past that teams carried by their defense usually settle toward the bottom of the standings. DeAngelo Williams (13.95) didn't put up the types of numbers he did toward the end of last season, but, in all fairness, his QB was busy trying to become the first player ever to personally turn the ball over 10 times in one game. It will be interesting to see what this fake team does over the next couple of weeks, particularly if their defense doesn't get to face a team led by someone nicknamed "The Snake".
Possessing the early leader for 2009 PPFFL MVP, Team STY settles into the top half of the standings. Drew Brees (66.16) had one of the best weeks ever recorded in this league, illusrating the savvy of the guy who drafted this fake team. He was joined by just about nobody when it came to putting up numbers on Sunday, as Chris Cooley (16.40) and the Green Bay defense (14.00) were the only others on his squad to reach double figures. Terrell Owens (4.30) was the biggest disappointment, particularly since he said the best thing about being in Buffalo was being a Bill. Someone needs to tell him that he actually needs to catch a few passes before the fans will be feeling as good about him wearing the red, white, and blue.
Heading up the bottom half of the standings is The Maestro. It was a decent week, as nobody in the lineup really stunk; but nobody really excelled, either. John Carlson (22.75) was the biggest surprise of the week, as he had a huge game for a guy taken in the 14th round. Aaron Rodgers (23.53) could have had a tremendous performance, but overthrew a handful of open receivers down the field. Maurice Jones-Drew (17.15) and Frank Gore (17.40) put up some decent numbers while their teams struggled a little, so there is potential for this fake team to make a move in the coming weeks. Or, maybe not. Because these guys could just as likely all go into the tank.
Reversing their trend of falling hundreds of points behind in the first couple of weeks was The Outlaws. Cracking the century mark isn't something these guys usually do until around Halloween. The game that ended late last night is what propelled them into this rarified air. Darren Sproles (26.30) saved the Bolts from losing to Oakland for the first time since before half of our league owners were born. Kurt Warner (24.56) wasn't great, but has room to grow. DeSean Jackson (18.40) helped prove that not only does Carolina have a rotten offense, but their special teams stink, too.
Narrowly missing the century mark was The Dragons. They were done in by the rib injury to Dunnavunn McNabb (24.93). Fortunately, they were picked up a little by Devin Hester (16.55), Roy Williams (13.30), and Brian Westbrook (12.60). It can't be overlooked that the worst performer of all 1st round picks from our draft was Matt Forte (2.75). And, that's saying something when you consider what Antonio Bryant (3.45) did over the weekend. Hopefully for this team, Forte turns things around and doesn't turn into a blunder that will haunt his fake owner for the whole season.
Bringing up the rear is The Dominator. Loyalty only takes you so far in football, real and fake, as evidenced by the performances of some of his favorite players over the years: Clinton Portis (4.60), Willie Parker (2.20), and the Miami (3.00) defense. Fortunately, guys like Tony Gonzalez (14.65), Larry Fitzgerald (15.55), and Neil Rackers (12.00) were picking up the slack, otherwise this could have been a disasterous week. Maybe Clilnton will show up sporting the personality of the guy who can actually run the football effectively this weekend and help bring this team up from the bottom.
Notes:
The first week is in the books and our newest member stands at the top of the standings. Following a season in which a brand new team won the championship, we see once again that the longer you play fantasy football, the dumber you get.
On the real gridiron, it was proven again that a player's time can be short, as a few big names came down with varying degrees of injury. Dunnavunn McNabb suffered a broken rib, but vowed not to miss any time (Andy Reid still found it necessary to sign Jeff Garcia, no doubt making Kevin Kolb feel really good about himself). Troy Polamalu injured a knee ligament, but will likely only miss about 5 weeks. Not so fortunate was Brian Urlacher, who busted up his wrist and will miss the remainder of the season.
In our fake league, there were no injuries to report from Week 1, meaning we're all getting better at sitting on the couch and not falling off when stretching to reach for the remote control.
Official Standings:
The Big Ragu 126.71
Gnomies 122.68
Cyclones 120.37
Team STY 118.61
The Maestro 111.43
The Outlaws 106.71
The Dragons 95.68
The Dominator 87.39
It appears that, with a greater number of teams, there is less of a chance for a star player to be left on the bench while someone inferior plays in his stead. Looking over the results of this week, there was only one real case where someone messed up by not playing someone. That's why Team STY takes home the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy" Award for Week 1 of our 4th season. They left Reggie Wayne (27.10) on the bench while Terrell Owens (4.30) pretended to be invisible against New England. Had Wayne been in the lineup, his fake team would be in first place and the intelligence of our league mainstays would not be under so much scrutiny right now.
Providing more evidence that a bunch of Polocks can be had when playing fantasy football, The Big Ragu broke out on top after one week. The arm of Tom Brady (53.01) and the hands of Randy Moss (22.05) were most responsible. How this guy was able to draft both of those players is reason why the rest of us are who we are. Heck, it was only two seasons ago that the team who drafted both of these guys won the league by about 1,975 points. Maybe we'll all catch on next season. In addition to those two, Kevin Smith (16.60) put up some good numbers, proving again that someone has to put up stats on bad teams.
Not far behind are the Gnomies. Adrian Peterson (31.90) lived up to the hype of being the #1 pick in the draft, casually throwing tacklers to the side all day in Cleveland. Browns fans probably can't wait for the weather to turn cold so that they can start throwing snowballs at Cleveland's wimpy defensive players. Matt Ryan (31.38) was solid, although not spectacular, while Greg Jennings (22.30) would have had huge numbers had Aaron Rodgers not overthrown him a half dozen times. And, this isn't a misprint, Willis McGahee (19.75) was very good as the Ravens opened up their offense and put up over 30 points on Sunday. It doesn't look like Baltimore is playing its games on a field that is 180 yards long anymore.
The defending champion Cyclones slide comfortably into 3rd place this week, on the strength of Peyton Manning (35.82) and the Philadelphia (35.00) defense. Their place is tenuous, though, because we've seen in the past that teams carried by their defense usually settle toward the bottom of the standings. DeAngelo Williams (13.95) didn't put up the types of numbers he did toward the end of last season, but, in all fairness, his QB was busy trying to become the first player ever to personally turn the ball over 10 times in one game. It will be interesting to see what this fake team does over the next couple of weeks, particularly if their defense doesn't get to face a team led by someone nicknamed "The Snake".
Possessing the early leader for 2009 PPFFL MVP, Team STY settles into the top half of the standings. Drew Brees (66.16) had one of the best weeks ever recorded in this league, illusrating the savvy of the guy who drafted this fake team. He was joined by just about nobody when it came to putting up numbers on Sunday, as Chris Cooley (16.40) and the Green Bay defense (14.00) were the only others on his squad to reach double figures. Terrell Owens (4.30) was the biggest disappointment, particularly since he said the best thing about being in Buffalo was being a Bill. Someone needs to tell him that he actually needs to catch a few passes before the fans will be feeling as good about him wearing the red, white, and blue.
Heading up the bottom half of the standings is The Maestro. It was a decent week, as nobody in the lineup really stunk; but nobody really excelled, either. John Carlson (22.75) was the biggest surprise of the week, as he had a huge game for a guy taken in the 14th round. Aaron Rodgers (23.53) could have had a tremendous performance, but overthrew a handful of open receivers down the field. Maurice Jones-Drew (17.15) and Frank Gore (17.40) put up some decent numbers while their teams struggled a little, so there is potential for this fake team to make a move in the coming weeks. Or, maybe not. Because these guys could just as likely all go into the tank.
Reversing their trend of falling hundreds of points behind in the first couple of weeks was The Outlaws. Cracking the century mark isn't something these guys usually do until around Halloween. The game that ended late last night is what propelled them into this rarified air. Darren Sproles (26.30) saved the Bolts from losing to Oakland for the first time since before half of our league owners were born. Kurt Warner (24.56) wasn't great, but has room to grow. DeSean Jackson (18.40) helped prove that not only does Carolina have a rotten offense, but their special teams stink, too.
Narrowly missing the century mark was The Dragons. They were done in by the rib injury to Dunnavunn McNabb (24.93). Fortunately, they were picked up a little by Devin Hester (16.55), Roy Williams (13.30), and Brian Westbrook (12.60). It can't be overlooked that the worst performer of all 1st round picks from our draft was Matt Forte (2.75). And, that's saying something when you consider what Antonio Bryant (3.45) did over the weekend. Hopefully for this team, Forte turns things around and doesn't turn into a blunder that will haunt his fake owner for the whole season.
Bringing up the rear is The Dominator. Loyalty only takes you so far in football, real and fake, as evidenced by the performances of some of his favorite players over the years: Clinton Portis (4.60), Willie Parker (2.20), and the Miami (3.00) defense. Fortunately, guys like Tony Gonzalez (14.65), Larry Fitzgerald (15.55), and Neil Rackers (12.00) were picking up the slack, otherwise this could have been a disasterous week. Maybe Clilnton will show up sporting the personality of the guy who can actually run the football effectively this weekend and help bring this team up from the bottom.
Notes:
- Transactions will be carried out in reverse order of the standings, so The Dominator gets first crack and The Big Ragu gets last.
- It's great to read in the Sacramento Bee today that the Raiders once again are cultivating a celebrity following...if you're talking about people you recognize but don't know their names. Ice Cube stopped being famous about ten years ago, Guy Fieri is a Food Network celebrity (and, thus unknown to most football followers), and (could the Bee columnist have been serious?) the Sacramento Monarchs are about as well known as the secret formula for the Krabby Patty. Seriously, if you want to make it sound like your favorite football team is becoming relevant again because of the celebrities that are attending games, leave out the part about the WNBA players being there.
- Al Davis, if he wasn't before, is really slipping. A few years ago, the employee in charge of handing out the field passes would have been fired for simply thinking it was a good idea to give a few to some WNBA players.
- Staying in the AFC West, if Week 1 is an indication, that division is home to the worst collection of QBs in the league, and possibly in the history of professional football. The cream of the crop, Phillip Rivers, looked horrible against what has been one of the league's worst defenses. JaMarcus Russell was even worse than Rivers last night, if that's possible. Steve Young summed it up when, during a discussion of how important it was for a QB to be accurate with his throws, he said, "Accuracy isn't really something you can work on once you're in the NFL. It's kind of like something you're born with." Apparently, when deciding whether or not to take JaMarcus with the first pick a couple of years ago, the Raiders braintrust didn't get the copy of his birth certificate that said, "wasn't born with the throwing accuracy gene". Moving on through the division, we reach Kansas City and Brody Croyle, who has lost the last 9 games he's started by two touchdowns or more. I'm nearly 40 and my shoulder is shot, but I think there might be a place for me in the NFL. Kansas City, here I come! Rounding our the crappy AFC West QBs is Kyle Orton. The name Kyle Orton is destined to one day mean "Horrible Quarterback" in the American lexicon. I can't imagine anyone being worse at their profession, with the exception of the Iraqui public information officer who talked of how well their army was doing while, in the background of his live shot, American tanks were rolling into Baghdad.
- To prove the contamination of the AFC West for QBs, look to Chicago, where Jay Cutler can't seem to get the stink off of him. He was Orton-esque on Sunday night, throwing balls like he was a player at Toledo (the team mired in the point shaving scandal a couple of years ago). With his bowl haircut and obnoxious persona, let's hope that Cutler makes everyone in Chicago soon wish they were back in the days of Rex Grossman.
Well, that about wraps things up for Week 1. In the coming weeks we will be bursting with more information, particularly on some of the media, national and local. Because, what's a good website without someone busting on Peaches Naper occasionally?
Get your lineups in and remember our mantra:
Do great things.
The Commish
posted by Patrick Zalasky at 9:52 AM
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