Week 7 Review

Not much of a review for this week, due to some academic demands. So, for what it's worth, here are the standings as of the end of play on Monday night:

Current Standings (Week 7):
The Big Ragu 982.04 (98.20)
Cyclones 978.18 (107.69)
The Maestro 907.55 (128.77)
Team STY 904.44 (120.06)
The Outlaws 838.40 (83.83)
Gnomies 787.42 (97.28)
The Dominator 737.26 (73.28)
The Dragons 669.19 (104.23)

It was a heck of a week as the top of the league saw some jockeying for position between The Big Ragu and the Cyclones. Let's hope the rest of the season gives us the same kind of excitement.

Notes:

• In case you missed the announcement, Jim Nantz is getting a divorce from his wife of many years. That's right, the guy who wrote a book that in his own words, "will better the life of anyone who reads it" wasn't able to take care of his own business at home. Perhaps he should read the books that he writes and use the valuable information inside of them. Who knows, it could have saved him about $95,000 a month in alimony.
• Just in case it slipped by you, JIM FREAKING NANTZ makes so much money that he can affors to pay his ex-wife over a million bucks a year in alimony. That is the latest sign that we are headed for the fall of Western Civilization.
• Speaking of Western Civilization, the man who once said a Los Angeles Clippers midseason victory over a mediocre Denver Nuggets team was the greatest upset in the history of WC, has had to step away from his NBA analysis duties to deal with some health problems. Let me be the first to say that I will greatly miss Bill Walton. First, his absence means that we'll have to deal with more idiots like Jalen Rose and Greg Anthony. Secondly, the big redhead was highly entertaining if you played along with his act. Here's hoping he's in one of his teepees buring some of the highest quality medicinal plants and is on the way to a comfortable recovery.
• Congratulations to the Yankees on championship #27. Congrats also to the Rams and Titans who have left the Buccaneers as the only NFL team with a chance to go o-fer the season. Vince Young is back under center for the Titans, meaning the Tennessee offensive coaches have had to break out their playbooks that are formatted as coloring books. Otherwise, the master of the Wonderlic would have no idea what plays to run out on the gridiron. Okay, he's probably drawing plays in the dirt, just to keep from confusing himself with a bunch of words and numbers that he can't spell, nor identify.
• It's good to once again be able to crack on Vince Young for being stupid. If I ever want my kids to feel like geniuses, I'll have them walk onto the football team at Texas. Among that group of guys, they'll feel like Einstein and Stephen Hawking all rolled into one.
• When you see the words "genius" and "Einstein" in the same paragraph you have to give a shout out to Joe Theismann and his favorite genius, "Norman" Einstein. We miss you Joe. Have yo ever thought about contacting ESPN and applying for their NBA opening?
• Lastly, let's give it up to Comcast Sports California and their newest accomlishment of giving us the 4 people we would least like to see on TV together at the same time: Peaches Napear, Jerry Reynolds, Garry Gerould, and Fat Lever. In order they are: The most egotistical carrot top on earth (and New York poser); a yokel who still can't believe there is a professional sports franchise stupid enough to keep him on the payroll until he croaks; a guy so old and clueless that he has flashbacks to the War of 1812 everytime the Kings shoot off fireworks during pregame introductions; and the low budget, NBA version of Emmitt Smith (here's what the majority of Fat's analysis sounds like: duh blah, blah, duh duh duh...and that's the truth Garry!"...meaning he's the perfect partner for the G-Man). That split screen that pops up with two of them on each side is the cue to head out to the fridge or bathroom, unless you enjoy blood spurting out of your eyes and ears.

That's all for now. As Garry Gerould would say, "hitch up those horses and tell those maidens to fix you a hearty supper before you hit the sack to rest before you hit the trail tomorrow morn." He's also fond of saying, "It looks like this game is over. The Kings are flat and out of it tonight. It's 2-0 Jazz, as the Kings bring it up court for their first possession of the night."

Do great things, gentlemen.

The Commish