Tuesday Review #14
We're officially in the homestretch, gentlemen, and it's a boat race. Not quite like Secretariat at Belmont, but a rout, nonetheless. The Cyhawks have ridden the offensive stars of "Conservative" Marty Schottenheimer's Chargers (and the Bengals) to a commanding lead. There might still be a little excitement, however, as a little over 100 points separate 2nd from 4th...if one can get excited over being the runner-up. Like the Titans and Cardinals, the team that rises to almost the top can look toward the 2007 season and expect big things then, if they are truly like the Cardinals, crash like the Hindenburg at the beginning of the season, not to be heard from until it is, once again, too late.
The NFL experts, particularly on ESPN, are in late season mode, as they are blessing us with their insight into who will be playing into January. Sean Salisbury will take any AFC team right now over the best the NFC has to offer. There are many who follow football who think the same, which is why it was completely unnecessary for Sean to yell at us while he was making the point. Why the anger? We're not so dumb, Sean, to think the Giants or Bears would have a snowball's chance to beat even the Jaguars in the Super Bowl. Then there's Mark Schlereth who said (this is almost exact), "The Chargers are the best team in football, because they know how to play NFL football." For those of you who don't get it, the best team in football is the one that knows how to play football. Makes sense to me, especially when you consider that dullard Mike Nolan didn't start playing defense with 11 guys until Week 9. He definitely didn't know how to play football. Marty Schottenheimer's been going with 11 per side since Week 1, and it shows in the standings.
Standings (Week 14):
Cyhawks 1,742.94 (153.79)
The Dominator 1,497.05 (122.36)
The Spongebobs 1,435.25 (135.88)
Plan Z 1,380.40 (77.31)
The Dragons 1,264.93 (107.38)
The 14th installment of the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy Award" goes to Plan Z. In a week where darn near every team played their best lineup, the award has to go to the team who had a QB barely score 5 points. That's right, perennial All Pro Tom Brady (5.06) scored fewer points this week than his backup, Matt Cassel, who didn't take a single snap in college. And, Brady wasn't hurt. To get a real sense of how bad Brady was, he barely outscored that guy that was found dead in the parking lot of Edison International Field after Game 7 of the 2002 World Series. So, basically, Plan Z wins this award for not acquiring and playing said dead guy. At least he will be consistent and not make you sit around all Sunday morning and wonder how in the world a guy some in the media think is better than Joe Montana could possibly throw for fewer than 80 yards against the Dolphins in a game where his team was losing the whole time and was in passing mode the whole 2nd half. @#$%$#@%$@##&*I^%#*&&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Over the last few weeks, it needs to be pointed out, the Cyhawks have been playing all AFC players, with the exception of Steve Smith (8.90). Considering Smith was the only reason this team didn't post the first all double figures week of the season, maybe it's time to pick up another AFC receiver. It's becoming redundant, so let's just list the lineup of the best team in the PPFFL: Carson Palmer (27.94). Rudi Johnson (20.10), The MVP (27.60), Ocho Cinco (13.05), Antonio Gates (27.20), Josh Scobee-Dobee-Do (16.00) and the Jaguars defense (13.00). I'm no fantasy expert (as evidenced by my less than astute handling of QBs), but I would say most successful fantasy owners have mostly AFC players. Kudos to Ang who was able recognize this and stomp on the rest of us.
Still hanging around the top of the league is The Dominator, who cracked the century mark for the first time in awhile. Peyton Manning (25.81) pulled an Eli and put up some decent numbers in a game where his team was getting blown out. Steven Jackson (28.95) had a great game against the vaunted Bears defense. Even Willie Parker (18.15) was huge on the week, speaking to the fact that the less Roethlisberger is involved, the better for everyone in Pittsburgh. Larry Fitzgerald (16.95) continued to perform well in the Cardinals' "We'll win just enough to screw up our draft pick" surge to end the season. And, although he's not playing for the Dominator, props to Ron Mexico for keeping the birds in their cages, even though Alge Crumpler (4.50) was brutal again.
Creeping closer to the top 2 are The Spongebobs. This week Bob owes everything to Drew Brees (60.38). It's been stated over and over on this site, but that was the pick up of the year. Brees has been on fire since he was added to the roster of The Spongebobs and his numbers get better every week. By Week 17, when the Saints might need a win to give them home field advantage or a bye in Round 1 of the playoffs, it's conceivable that Brees could go 40-42 for 806 yards and 9 TDs. The guy is that hot. He got some help this week from Frank Gore (18.40), the Bears defense (17.00) and Nate Kaeding (12.00), otherwise it was all Drew. One note on the defense of the Bears: the presence of Devin Hester makes them the fantasy juggernaut Bob has come to know and love. Without kicks returned for TDs being counted as defensive points, the Bears D, although great, would not put up huge points. Just last night, Hester accounted for 12 of their points, meaning he is a huge weapon and might make someone spend a top 5 pick on the Chicago D next year.
Even more of a one-man team this week was Plan Z. They were by far the lowest scoring team of the week and had one player account for 52% of thier points. Without Maurice Jones Drew (40.15) Plan Z would have shattered the record for the fewest points in a single week, and it wouldn't have been close. Throw Reggie Wayne (16.50) into the mix and you see that the other 6 guys combined to score only 20.66 points. For Plan Z, though (or at least me, I'm not sure about Alex and Jack), a rough fantasy week is well worth seeing Brady with his head in his hands and the rest of the Patriots being shut out by Miami. When we saw we really had no chance to win this thing, and realized we really had a gift for jinxing our QBs, we decided to try to ruin the seasons of some of our least favorite teams. Right near the top of that list is New England, so it's nice to see what transpired on Sunday. If news breaks that Brady is now dating some skanky celebrity, we can expect to witness the worst performance ever by an NFL QB not named Cody Pickett. For the record, and because I know you're wondering, here is how the rest of Plan Z performed on Sunday: Antonio Bryant (2.95), Shaun Alexander (4.10), Tony Gonzalez (4.55), Jeff Wilkins (3.00), New England defense (1.00). A regular Murderers Row.
Now we come to our old friends, The Dragons. Tony Romo's (14.53) career is now on the precipice of officially spiralling out of control (but he's still better than Brady). One more crappy game and The Big Tuna is going to put out a hit on Jessica Simpson. Throw out Romo, though, and this was a nice week for The Dragons. T.J. Houshmanzadeh (22.90) was better than Ocho Cinco for the second week in a row, and the third time in four weeks. The clock is ticking on when OC will decide to throw Carson Palmer and the offensive coordinator under the bus, even though the team is winning and the offense is nearly unstoppable. Terry Glenn (18.50) was solid in Romo's face plant, while Kevin Jones (15.20) definitely brought something to the table. For those of you who are unsure, Jones plays for the Lions. I know, it's hard to keep it straight when you are talking about a guy with a common name who plays for a nondescript team. Let's also give it up for the Giants defense (12.00) who got the early Christmans present of seeing Chris Weinke taking the snaps across the line of scrimmage. The big question here is whether The Dragons can pull themselves out of the basement over the last 3 weeks of the season. They have to make up an average of about 40 points per week on Plan Z, which means, after Tom Brady's right arm falls clean off this coming Sunday and the Patriots give up 77 points at home to the Texans, they should only be about 15 points back going into Week 16.
Notes:
We're officially in the homestretch, gentlemen, and it's a boat race. Not quite like Secretariat at Belmont, but a rout, nonetheless. The Cyhawks have ridden the offensive stars of "Conservative" Marty Schottenheimer's Chargers (and the Bengals) to a commanding lead. There might still be a little excitement, however, as a little over 100 points separate 2nd from 4th...if one can get excited over being the runner-up. Like the Titans and Cardinals, the team that rises to almost the top can look toward the 2007 season and expect big things then, if they are truly like the Cardinals, crash like the Hindenburg at the beginning of the season, not to be heard from until it is, once again, too late.
The NFL experts, particularly on ESPN, are in late season mode, as they are blessing us with their insight into who will be playing into January. Sean Salisbury will take any AFC team right now over the best the NFC has to offer. There are many who follow football who think the same, which is why it was completely unnecessary for Sean to yell at us while he was making the point. Why the anger? We're not so dumb, Sean, to think the Giants or Bears would have a snowball's chance to beat even the Jaguars in the Super Bowl. Then there's Mark Schlereth who said (this is almost exact), "The Chargers are the best team in football, because they know how to play NFL football." For those of you who don't get it, the best team in football is the one that knows how to play football. Makes sense to me, especially when you consider that dullard Mike Nolan didn't start playing defense with 11 guys until Week 9. He definitely didn't know how to play football. Marty Schottenheimer's been going with 11 per side since Week 1, and it shows in the standings.
Standings (Week 14):
Cyhawks 1,742.94 (153.79)
The Dominator 1,497.05 (122.36)
The Spongebobs 1,435.25 (135.88)
Plan Z 1,380.40 (77.31)
The Dragons 1,264.93 (107.38)
The 14th installment of the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy Award" goes to Plan Z. In a week where darn near every team played their best lineup, the award has to go to the team who had a QB barely score 5 points. That's right, perennial All Pro Tom Brady (5.06) scored fewer points this week than his backup, Matt Cassel, who didn't take a single snap in college. And, Brady wasn't hurt. To get a real sense of how bad Brady was, he barely outscored that guy that was found dead in the parking lot of Edison International Field after Game 7 of the 2002 World Series. So, basically, Plan Z wins this award for not acquiring and playing said dead guy. At least he will be consistent and not make you sit around all Sunday morning and wonder how in the world a guy some in the media think is better than Joe Montana could possibly throw for fewer than 80 yards against the Dolphins in a game where his team was losing the whole time and was in passing mode the whole 2nd half. @#$%$#@%$@##&*I^%#*&&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Over the last few weeks, it needs to be pointed out, the Cyhawks have been playing all AFC players, with the exception of Steve Smith (8.90). Considering Smith was the only reason this team didn't post the first all double figures week of the season, maybe it's time to pick up another AFC receiver. It's becoming redundant, so let's just list the lineup of the best team in the PPFFL: Carson Palmer (27.94). Rudi Johnson (20.10), The MVP (27.60), Ocho Cinco (13.05), Antonio Gates (27.20), Josh Scobee-Dobee-Do (16.00) and the Jaguars defense (13.00). I'm no fantasy expert (as evidenced by my less than astute handling of QBs), but I would say most successful fantasy owners have mostly AFC players. Kudos to Ang who was able recognize this and stomp on the rest of us.
Still hanging around the top of the league is The Dominator, who cracked the century mark for the first time in awhile. Peyton Manning (25.81) pulled an Eli and put up some decent numbers in a game where his team was getting blown out. Steven Jackson (28.95) had a great game against the vaunted Bears defense. Even Willie Parker (18.15) was huge on the week, speaking to the fact that the less Roethlisberger is involved, the better for everyone in Pittsburgh. Larry Fitzgerald (16.95) continued to perform well in the Cardinals' "We'll win just enough to screw up our draft pick" surge to end the season. And, although he's not playing for the Dominator, props to Ron Mexico for keeping the birds in their cages, even though Alge Crumpler (4.50) was brutal again.
Creeping closer to the top 2 are The Spongebobs. This week Bob owes everything to Drew Brees (60.38). It's been stated over and over on this site, but that was the pick up of the year. Brees has been on fire since he was added to the roster of The Spongebobs and his numbers get better every week. By Week 17, when the Saints might need a win to give them home field advantage or a bye in Round 1 of the playoffs, it's conceivable that Brees could go 40-42 for 806 yards and 9 TDs. The guy is that hot. He got some help this week from Frank Gore (18.40), the Bears defense (17.00) and Nate Kaeding (12.00), otherwise it was all Drew. One note on the defense of the Bears: the presence of Devin Hester makes them the fantasy juggernaut Bob has come to know and love. Without kicks returned for TDs being counted as defensive points, the Bears D, although great, would not put up huge points. Just last night, Hester accounted for 12 of their points, meaning he is a huge weapon and might make someone spend a top 5 pick on the Chicago D next year.
Even more of a one-man team this week was Plan Z. They were by far the lowest scoring team of the week and had one player account for 52% of thier points. Without Maurice Jones Drew (40.15) Plan Z would have shattered the record for the fewest points in a single week, and it wouldn't have been close. Throw Reggie Wayne (16.50) into the mix and you see that the other 6 guys combined to score only 20.66 points. For Plan Z, though (or at least me, I'm not sure about Alex and Jack), a rough fantasy week is well worth seeing Brady with his head in his hands and the rest of the Patriots being shut out by Miami. When we saw we really had no chance to win this thing, and realized we really had a gift for jinxing our QBs, we decided to try to ruin the seasons of some of our least favorite teams. Right near the top of that list is New England, so it's nice to see what transpired on Sunday. If news breaks that Brady is now dating some skanky celebrity, we can expect to witness the worst performance ever by an NFL QB not named Cody Pickett. For the record, and because I know you're wondering, here is how the rest of Plan Z performed on Sunday: Antonio Bryant (2.95), Shaun Alexander (4.10), Tony Gonzalez (4.55), Jeff Wilkins (3.00), New England defense (1.00). A regular Murderers Row.
Now we come to our old friends, The Dragons. Tony Romo's (14.53) career is now on the precipice of officially spiralling out of control (but he's still better than Brady). One more crappy game and The Big Tuna is going to put out a hit on Jessica Simpson. Throw out Romo, though, and this was a nice week for The Dragons. T.J. Houshmanzadeh (22.90) was better than Ocho Cinco for the second week in a row, and the third time in four weeks. The clock is ticking on when OC will decide to throw Carson Palmer and the offensive coordinator under the bus, even though the team is winning and the offense is nearly unstoppable. Terry Glenn (18.50) was solid in Romo's face plant, while Kevin Jones (15.20) definitely brought something to the table. For those of you who are unsure, Jones plays for the Lions. I know, it's hard to keep it straight when you are talking about a guy with a common name who plays for a nondescript team. Let's also give it up for the Giants defense (12.00) who got the early Christmans present of seeing Chris Weinke taking the snaps across the line of scrimmage. The big question here is whether The Dragons can pull themselves out of the basement over the last 3 weeks of the season. They have to make up an average of about 40 points per week on Plan Z, which means, after Tom Brady's right arm falls clean off this coming Sunday and the Patriots give up 77 points at home to the Texans, they should only be about 15 points back going into Week 16.
Notes:
- The NFL Network is showing the scintillating Niners/Seahawks pillow fight on Thursday, so get your rosters in by Wednesday or Thursday morning. As you know, there's no guarantee I will get them posted before the game starts Thursday night, but I will do my best.
- If you haven't been following, the NFL basically went to Thursday games on the NFL Network to get Dish Network, Comcast, and the myriad of other cable outlets to pay the exorbitant price the league was demanding to have their network added as basic programming. The first three Thursday games undoubtedly were scheduled to make most of America put pressure on their cable outlets to add the NFL Network, lest most of the country would be missing great games. Reality, though, is that none of the first three clashes have even been competitive, so most of America isn't missing out on anything. The scheduling of SF@Seattle for the fourth Thursday game obviously means the league fully expected to have the deal settled by now. In fact, the arrogance of the league probably dictated that they schedule this yawner after they expected to have the deal done, just to force America to watch this train wreck after they got everyone to bow to their outrageous demands.
To show how lazy you all are, Bob just emailed his Week 15 lineup. I guess it's easy to get excited when you have Drew Brees poised to pass for over 600 yards.
Until next time, do great things.
The Commish
posted by Patrick Zalasky at 9:53 AM
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