Tuesday Review v2.11
Week 11 saw the return to action of the Patriots, leading, of course, to The Maestro extending the distance between himself and everyone else. It is becoming abundantly clear that the first round of the 2008 PPFFL draft will go as follows: 1) Tom Brady; 2) Randy Moss; 3) Wes Welker; 4) Donte Stallworth; 5) Benjamin Watson; 6) New England defense.
Official Standings (Week 11)
The Maestro 1,512.32 (184.01)
Kellogg Krushers 1,296.32 (108.01)
The Dragons 1,194.47 (92.63)
The Bouncers 1,146.91 (76.05)
The Outlaws 1,063.55 (94.41)
The Dominator 986.67 (75.93)
Everyone put their best, or close to their best, lineup on the field this week, with the only regrets coming with the decisions to play guys who were injured. Because they inserted an injured Todd Heap into the lineup for about the tenth time this year, The Dragons win the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy Award" for Week 11. Heap has been "day-to-day" for over two months now and is less likely to put on the pads than Emmitt Smith is to think about what he is going to say before he opens up his pie hole. Whom The Dragons could have put in the lineup instead of Heap is irrelevant because a warm body is all that would be needed to show improvement.
The Maestro, as stated yesterday, came a dropped Randy Moss (43.40) pass away from setting the single week scoring record. Too bad Moss didin't learn at "Grand University" how to finish plays when someone is trying to make fake football history. Tom Brady (67.91), of course, was running up huge stats in another blowout, purposely looking for Moss in an attempt to make T.O.'s huge game earlier Sunday an afterthought. It wasn't just the two Patriots that made it happen for our leader, though. Everyone else, with the exception of Jason Hanson (5.00) reached double figures, led by Larry Fitzgerald (18.65), Jospeh Addai (15.30) and Maurice Jones-Drew (12.40). To put this season into perspective, this team's total would have put it in 2nd place last season....after Week 14. I think it's safe to say that New England's quest to run up the score on all of their opponents has had an effect on the 2007 season of the PPFFL.
Coming in second place for the week and remaining second overall are the Kellogg Krushers. Brett Favre (40.21) again led the way in a season that could be described as a weekly case of deja vu all over again. The New England defense (18.00) was next best for the week, followed by Reggie Bush (15.20), who looks poised to become a legitimate star next season, and not just someone overly hyped by the media. Wes Welker (11.25) hit double figures by default. That is a direct byrpoduct of playing offense for New England. How about Rob Bironas (10.00)? Not too many guys have booted two field goals over 55 yards in the same season. And, let's not forget to touch on the significance of Steve Smith (DNP) sitting out Carolina's game on Sunday. The game report said he was hurt, but we all know he just couldn't drag himself out on the field to watch throws from Vinny T wobble and fall woefully short of their intended target.
The Dragons put more distance between themselves and fourth place, even though they had a guy who didn't play and one who barely played. Dunnavunn McNabb (-2.92), who carried this team last week, was knocked out early in a game that was already going poorly for him. Thank goodness for Terrell Owens (43.65). For all the times T.O. has been dogged in this space, he has certainly been the second best WR in the NFL all season long. That's the beauty of things, though, because the meltdown that we all know is coming will be all the more incredible. That is, unless Romo has hooked T.O. up with one of Britney's loser friends, like Lohan, and T.O. is working the crappy celebrity starlet karma to its full effect. It's a dicey proposition to rely on that karma, though. Nobody can really believe that Romo will be able to keep from chasing someone a little more successful than Britney soon. We know he can't keep his head in the game if there is skirt on his mind, and if Romo goes down the tubes, T.O. is going to follow.
The Bouncers were bitten by an injury to Marshawn Lynch (DNP) and a reliance on Ben Roethlisberger (16.15), leading to their worst week of the season. Big Ben, who has barely been mediocre his whole career, even though his team regularly wins, was being touted as an elite QB after his MNF performance against a less than formidable Ravens defense. In Week 11 he went back to his usual ways, meaning he overthrew most of his receivers when he wasn't making terrible reads. T.J. Houshmanzadeh (18.35) remained consistent and Greg Jennings (15.40) is turning into one of the better free agant acquisitions of 2007. This team needs a bounce back week and they need Peyton Manning to get over the hangover of losing to New England back in Week 9. If that doesn't happen, they might have to keep an eye on...
...The Outlaws. A week of relative stability brought them a little closer to the top 67% of the league. It came mostly on the arm of Tony Romo (44.96) who was helped a little bit by Brandon Marshall (13.60) and Brandon Jacobs (13.15). Now, honestly, what are the odds that any fantasy football review, or anything else written about football, would reference two guys named Brandon in the same sentence? That name doesn't elicit thoughts of bruising gladiators, or guys running the field with the grace of a gazelle. Tom, Nick, Floyd, Joe...those are football names. So are, to a certain extent, LaDainian, Donte, Laverneaus, and Edgerrin. Brandon just doesn't seem to fit into either one of those categories.
Stuck with a bunch of guys whose names he wishes were different, we have The Dominator. Another lousy week brought last season's runner up team one week closer to the end of the misery and a 17% chance to land Tom Brady in next season's draft. Only Derek Anderson (26.58), Braylon Edwards (10.25) and Edgerrin James (10.05) reached double figures this week. If it hadn't been for the contributions of Doald Driver (9.60), Kellen Winslow (8.20), Neil Rackers (5.00), Clinton Portis (4.25), and the Redskins defense (2.00), though, these guys would have been outscored by Tom Brady. The one saving grace for this team is the fact that most of its roster comes from mid-to-lower level NFL teams. These guys can't take their jobs for granted and usually ratchet up the intensity at the end of the season in an attempt to put up big numbers and earn a paycheck for next season. Maybe the selfish quest for personal statistics and increased wealth, at the expense of team performance, will help The Dominator snap out of the doldrums that have been gripping his team for most of the season.
Notes:
Week 11 saw the return to action of the Patriots, leading, of course, to The Maestro extending the distance between himself and everyone else. It is becoming abundantly clear that the first round of the 2008 PPFFL draft will go as follows: 1) Tom Brady; 2) Randy Moss; 3) Wes Welker; 4) Donte Stallworth; 5) Benjamin Watson; 6) New England defense.
Official Standings (Week 11)
The Maestro 1,512.32 (184.01)
Kellogg Krushers 1,296.32 (108.01)
The Dragons 1,194.47 (92.63)
The Bouncers 1,146.91 (76.05)
The Outlaws 1,063.55 (94.41)
The Dominator 986.67 (75.93)
Everyone put their best, or close to their best, lineup on the field this week, with the only regrets coming with the decisions to play guys who were injured. Because they inserted an injured Todd Heap into the lineup for about the tenth time this year, The Dragons win the "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy Award" for Week 11. Heap has been "day-to-day" for over two months now and is less likely to put on the pads than Emmitt Smith is to think about what he is going to say before he opens up his pie hole. Whom The Dragons could have put in the lineup instead of Heap is irrelevant because a warm body is all that would be needed to show improvement.
The Maestro, as stated yesterday, came a dropped Randy Moss (43.40) pass away from setting the single week scoring record. Too bad Moss didin't learn at "Grand University" how to finish plays when someone is trying to make fake football history. Tom Brady (67.91), of course, was running up huge stats in another blowout, purposely looking for Moss in an attempt to make T.O.'s huge game earlier Sunday an afterthought. It wasn't just the two Patriots that made it happen for our leader, though. Everyone else, with the exception of Jason Hanson (5.00) reached double figures, led by Larry Fitzgerald (18.65), Jospeh Addai (15.30) and Maurice Jones-Drew (12.40). To put this season into perspective, this team's total would have put it in 2nd place last season....after Week 14. I think it's safe to say that New England's quest to run up the score on all of their opponents has had an effect on the 2007 season of the PPFFL.
Coming in second place for the week and remaining second overall are the Kellogg Krushers. Brett Favre (40.21) again led the way in a season that could be described as a weekly case of deja vu all over again. The New England defense (18.00) was next best for the week, followed by Reggie Bush (15.20), who looks poised to become a legitimate star next season, and not just someone overly hyped by the media. Wes Welker (11.25) hit double figures by default. That is a direct byrpoduct of playing offense for New England. How about Rob Bironas (10.00)? Not too many guys have booted two field goals over 55 yards in the same season. And, let's not forget to touch on the significance of Steve Smith (DNP) sitting out Carolina's game on Sunday. The game report said he was hurt, but we all know he just couldn't drag himself out on the field to watch throws from Vinny T wobble and fall woefully short of their intended target.
The Dragons put more distance between themselves and fourth place, even though they had a guy who didn't play and one who barely played. Dunnavunn McNabb (-2.92), who carried this team last week, was knocked out early in a game that was already going poorly for him. Thank goodness for Terrell Owens (43.65). For all the times T.O. has been dogged in this space, he has certainly been the second best WR in the NFL all season long. That's the beauty of things, though, because the meltdown that we all know is coming will be all the more incredible. That is, unless Romo has hooked T.O. up with one of Britney's loser friends, like Lohan, and T.O. is working the crappy celebrity starlet karma to its full effect. It's a dicey proposition to rely on that karma, though. Nobody can really believe that Romo will be able to keep from chasing someone a little more successful than Britney soon. We know he can't keep his head in the game if there is skirt on his mind, and if Romo goes down the tubes, T.O. is going to follow.
The Bouncers were bitten by an injury to Marshawn Lynch (DNP) and a reliance on Ben Roethlisberger (16.15), leading to their worst week of the season. Big Ben, who has barely been mediocre his whole career, even though his team regularly wins, was being touted as an elite QB after his MNF performance against a less than formidable Ravens defense. In Week 11 he went back to his usual ways, meaning he overthrew most of his receivers when he wasn't making terrible reads. T.J. Houshmanzadeh (18.35) remained consistent and Greg Jennings (15.40) is turning into one of the better free agant acquisitions of 2007. This team needs a bounce back week and they need Peyton Manning to get over the hangover of losing to New England back in Week 9. If that doesn't happen, they might have to keep an eye on...
...The Outlaws. A week of relative stability brought them a little closer to the top 67% of the league. It came mostly on the arm of Tony Romo (44.96) who was helped a little bit by Brandon Marshall (13.60) and Brandon Jacobs (13.15). Now, honestly, what are the odds that any fantasy football review, or anything else written about football, would reference two guys named Brandon in the same sentence? That name doesn't elicit thoughts of bruising gladiators, or guys running the field with the grace of a gazelle. Tom, Nick, Floyd, Joe...those are football names. So are, to a certain extent, LaDainian, Donte, Laverneaus, and Edgerrin. Brandon just doesn't seem to fit into either one of those categories.
Stuck with a bunch of guys whose names he wishes were different, we have The Dominator. Another lousy week brought last season's runner up team one week closer to the end of the misery and a 17% chance to land Tom Brady in next season's draft. Only Derek Anderson (26.58), Braylon Edwards (10.25) and Edgerrin James (10.05) reached double figures this week. If it hadn't been for the contributions of Doald Driver (9.60), Kellen Winslow (8.20), Neil Rackers (5.00), Clinton Portis (4.25), and the Redskins defense (2.00), though, these guys would have been outscored by Tom Brady. The one saving grace for this team is the fact that most of its roster comes from mid-to-lower level NFL teams. These guys can't take their jobs for granted and usually ratchet up the intensity at the end of the season in an attempt to put up big numbers and earn a paycheck for next season. Maybe the selfish quest for personal statistics and increased wealth, at the expense of team performance, will help The Dominator snap out of the doldrums that have been gripping his team for most of the season.
Notes:
- No change to the order of transactions this week.
- Because of the Thanksgiving Day games, rosters must be submitted by TOMORROW. I can't guarantee that I will be able to change or update things before the first ball is kicked off on Thursday.
- Emmitt Smith is awesome. Not since Kelly Pickler burst on the scene has anyone been able to talk nonstop with a huge smile on their face while making absolutely zero sense. Much like Pickler, Emmitt seems to be speaking a foreign language most of the time, or at the very least, a dialect of English that nobody in America understands.
- Emmitt's partner, Steve Young, looked on the verge of snapping during last night's MNF postgame recap. He was talking about some play that was or should have been reviewed. Stu Scott kept interrupting to ask questions, which had the affect of making Steve's head turn bright red while veins were bulging out of his neck. It was hard to figure out why Steve was so upset over a rather meaningless play in a game that wasn't very close. That's when we realized the obvious...the breaking point for anyone with a brain that has to work with Stu Scott is 11 weeks.
- There is a video on YouTube that shows a sideline reporter for Fox Sports attempting to couch surf through a group of drunk frat guys prior to Kansas State's game last Saturday. Predictably, the reporter gets dumped right on his head. On that note, I have a plea for Joe and Gavin Maloof. The next time ESPN comes to town, propose the same thing be done with Steven A. Smith. The only difference would be that, instead of being dumped onto the hard cement, Screamin' A would be dumped straight into a woodchipper.
- I know you've all seen the woman resembling a gerbil who brings all of the signs to Kings home games. You can tell the team has low expectations because Grant and Jerry spend an inordinate amount of time discussing her clever singage. Now, I think I'm clear on my feelings that people who bring signs to games are complete losers. The fact that this lady gets so much air time on the local telecasts is, frankly, way more embarrassing for the team than the fact that they are paying Kenny Thomas and Shareef Abdur Rahim over $34 million this season and next. Anyway, to make a long rant short, one thing the gerbil woman has never said, and you can take this to the bank, is "This is my boyfriend/husband." I will give anyone that can prove me wrong 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 fantasy football points.
Have a great week, gentelmen, and let's not forget to have a proper moment of silence for all of those turkeys, potatos, yams, cranberries, and marshmallows that are unselfishly giving up their lives so we can give thanks and consume massive amounts of food on Thursday.
Gobble, gobble, gobble.....
The Commish
posted by Patrick Zalasky at 8:52 AM
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