Tuesday Review #10As was pointed out yesterday, this was a week where the football gods exacted their revenge on The Dominator for his trash talking and arrogance in playing his "JV Team" in Week 10. They didn't rest on the punishment they levied on Sunday, as evidenced by the late TD scored by Steve Smith (of the Cyhawks) against Tampa Bay (The Dominator's defense). The moral of the story, of course, is "don't mess with the football gods". Or, don't play a bunch of guys you think are stiffs, just because you have a huge lead. In other league happenings, The Spongebobs have pulled a Lazarus and are now solidly in 4th place, with 3rd place locked in their sights. Their rise in the standings coincides with a reluctance to waive half of their team each week, providing a booming endorsement for sticking with what you have and letting them do their thing. Of course, The Dragons are relatively quiet when it comes to changing players, so maybe patience isn't the best plan of attack, especially when your team is struggling.
Official Standings (Week 10):
Cyhawks 1,166.79 (189.25)The Dominator 1,118.93 (83.12)Plan Z 1,001.18 (88.49)The Spongebobs 986.07 (129.76)The Dragons 932.84 (53.94)This week's "I Sure Wish I Would Have Played That Guy Award", naturally, goes to The Dominator. Mike Bell (0.00), of the JV squad, was a DNP against Oakland, while mainstay Willie Parker (28.25) was busting off 2 runs of over 65 yards on Sunday. In all fairness, Parker was playing against the JV caliber defense of the Saints. Still, congratulations go out to The Dominator for securing this award for Week 10!
For the first time in what seems like forever, the team summaries begin with someone other than The Dominator. The
Cyhawks take over the first spot in line with a week for the record books. For them the San Diego/Cincinnati 49-41 flag football contest was the one that provided the majority of the points. Carson Palmer (53.25), Chad Johnson (39.00) and Rudi Johnson (11.45) were riding high at halftime, but were trumped in the second half by LaDainian Tomlinson (40.90) and Antonio Gates (8.45). To illustrate what that game meant to the Cyhawks, consider that just Palmer and Tomlinson would have outscored PlanZ, the Dominator, and The Dragons (Palmer almost outpointed The Dragons by himself). Throw in Ocho Cinco and those 3 guys alone beat every other full squad in the league this week. That's absolutely amazing, particularly when you realize that Marty Schottenheimer was coaching one of the teams in that epic shootout. In the past, Marty may have decided to run the ball the whole second half, just to grind the clock and keep from losing 45-7. To the chagrin of the rest of the PPFFL, Marty decided to go for broke and turn his offense loose.
Sitting in second place with a dark cloud over his head is
The Dominator. In all fairness, the big guy didn't have anyone that did overly well, not even the guys on the bench. Peyton Manning (31.62) had a decent week, but nothing close to what he's been doing week to week. The only help he really got was from Donte Stallworth (21.95), who seemingly caught the only pass Dunnavunn McNabb completed this week, one that went for 81 yards and a TD. Larry Fitzgerald (10.00) and Ronnie Brown (8.80) were okay, if a couple of other guys had been there to pick up the slack. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view), those other guys were Jeremy Shockey (1.75) and Mike Bell (DNP). This team is just hoping that Week 10 was a mere bump in the road and not something that the football gods will turn to again to prove their point about showboating.
That brings us to Plan Z, in their customary 3rd place slot. That slot is a little more tenuous today, though, because of the team surging behind them. Although these guys had the 3rd best point total in Week 10 and nearly became the first team to land double digit performances from each position, they are down on their squad. Consider the QB, Ron Mexico (11.64), who was on the team back in weeks 3-5, only to be dropped after lackluster play. He was picked back up because he seemed to turned things around. So much for that. Basically, he looks great when Plan Z doesn't have him, and turns into the black Scott Mitchell when they do have him. And, what about Marvin Harrison (3.05)? He gets dissed 2 weeks ago for losing his #1 receiver status to Reggie Wayne (12.10), and responds with a huge night (while sitting on Plan Z's bench). Back in the starting lineup this week, it looked like someone convinced Minnie Minoso to put on the pads and become the first guy in his 80s to play in the NFL. Let's face it, being in Plan Z's lineup is almost a guarantee that someone is going to stink the joint out. For that reason, Plan Z is willing to pick up the player of your choice and put them in their lineup, just so they have a crappy game and/or suffer an injury. As we head toward the playoffs, this could be a great thing for those of you who want your favorite teams to win crucial games. Niner fan? Have Plan Z start a recently healed Shaun Alexander, and watch while he runs for less than 30 yards, fails to score a TD, fumbles 3 times, and reinjures his foot late in the 3rd quarter. Chiefs fan, have Plan Z keep playing both Colt receivers every week. That's the real reason Manning had a bad Week 10. You can't throw enough passes to the tight end or running backs to make up for the fact that Harrison and Wayne are playing for Plan Z. Now, of course, this service will not be done for free. Come up with your best offers and email them over for consideration. And, don't deny that this will work. Ask Tom Brady how his season was going prior to Week 6, when he was added to Plan Z's roster, then ask him how it's going now. Or, better yet, talk to Rex Grossman about that Cardinals game a few Mondays ago...the one that coincided with being named Plan Z's starting QB.
Now we come to Team Lazarus, the back from the dead
Spongebobs. They are definitely in the running for "pick-up of the year" for their acquisition of Drew Brees (40.66). He teamed with the Saints' shoo-in for Rookie of the Year (not Reggie Bush), Marques Colston (21.45) to give the absorbant ones a heckuva 1-2 combination. A career day from Frank Gore (19.65) was also really nice, as was a return to form for the Bears defense (15.00). The Bears seemed to welcome the boost that comes with facing Chuck-and-Duck Manning and the Giants on Sunday night, who shouldn't be confused with Duck-and-Cover Roethlisberger, who is the QB for the Steelers. Brian Westbrook (13.50) even did well on a day that his team struggled a little bit, as evidenced by the work of LJ Smith (1.40). The Spongebobs have definitely found some new life here in the middle of the season. They could be the feel good story of the year if they can keep the momentum going and rise from the depths of the league into contention. After nearly a month of solid performances, though, this question remains: Will the whole team be released if they suffer through a bad week or two?
An Amber Alert has officially been issued for
The Dragons. If you're driving on the freeway over the next few days, you may see the following message: "
Missing, several NFL players...names McNabb, Baskett, Jones, Portis, Winslow...last seen in NFL stadiums...allegedly played in games Sunday 11/12...stats from that day argue otherwise...may be traveling together or separately in tricked out black Chevy Tahoes with expensive wheels, numerous video screens, and any number of pit bulls, dobermans, and rottweilers in the back...please call the GM of The Dragons if you have any information on their whereabouts..." Something is not right with this team, as evidenced by the struggles of Dunnavunn McNabb (16.04) against the never-vaunted Redskins. If McNabb wasn't bad enough news, newly acquired Hank Baskett (DNP) was scratched. Clinton Portis (2.55), playing in the same game, broke his hand on one of his few rushes that picked up positive yardage. One bright spot (as bright as a 3 watt lightbulb) was that the Giants defense (7.00) was facing Rex Grossman, who has decided he will throw at least two picks a week, even in those games where his team wins by over 20 points and he otherwise puts up good numbers.
Notes:- For the first time in a long time, the order for transactions has changed. This week it goes The Dragons, The Spongebobs, Plan Z, The Dominator, and the Cyhawks.
- While watching the Rams/Seahawks clash on Sunday, it occurred to me that Matt Vasgergian is a much better announcer for Celebrity Blackjack than he is for NFL football. And, don't you think it's depressing when you're the coach of the defending NFC champs, you are playing you main division rival in a midseason game, and you walk into the coaches room to chat with that week's announcers, Matt Vasgergian and JC Pearson? Yes, Mike Holmgren, the NFL is punishing you for pointing out how bad the refs were in Super Bowl XL.
Week 11 schedule, transactions, and approriate news and comment to follow.....
Until then, don't deny the political power of an inebriated buffoon like Stan Atkinson. Failure to do so may result in repeated nights where Stan anchors your dreams.
The Commish
